Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 2 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge. 

Today’s scary story involves investing in myself, hiring a coach, and owning up to my own emotions.

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOvpxTAve2Q

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Finally, Danger Lou, thank you so much for the inspiration. This is my journey towards Danger Me

Yesterday was my last day at my part time job. The job gave me both a structure to my week and a guaranteed income, both of which I have valued dearly. The company was great, the team was great and I learned a lot. Eventually, I realised that I was starting to use it as an excuse to not take action towards the life I want to live. So, thank you so much to my team at my past job and those at You Can for helping me get to the point I am at now. Jumping off the cliff into the unknown, leaping into the oh so scary world of believing in my skills, knowledge, and offer enough to generate my own income while doing things I love.

In order to celebrate this scary step, I have decided to embark on a 30 day scare the crap out of myself challenge.

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on! *Warning, the raw and real Mel does tend to say a few swear words here and there…and sometimes makes up words all together!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Finally, Danger Lou, thank you so much for the inspiration. This is my journey towards Danger Me.

Love,

Mel

From helping you find your spark and surrounding you with people that believe that you can, through to grouping you with others who are interested in similar things – this is our story. And with it, this is why you see people with disabilities in most things that we do. It is also why and how we are not a disability service. Let’s think about disability differently.

Are you in?

*To view this Prezi just click ‘start prezi’ in the middle of the box and then the play triangle on the bottom left. You should hear my voice taking you through our story.

Hi everyone, I’m Mel. And in true Danger Lou style I’m taking the terrifying plunge of getting infront of a video camera so that I can share with you why I think Danger Lou is about more than one person… why I think Danger Lou is so exciting that I reached into my very limited pocket and have helped fund it – yep, I’m one of the Misfit 30! Enjoy!

Every good super hero needs a nemesis – whether it’s Superman and Lex Luther, Batman and the Joker, Wonder Woman and (..umm… well, you get the idea), any superhero worth their salt is working tirelessly to make sure their nemesis fails in their world-dominating quest.

So it’s time to reveal Danger Lou’s nemesis…

… The Robot of Mediocrity!

Tell us what you think in the comments below or join the conversation over on our facebook page.

Danger Lou needs you – click here to find out more and support her!

Recently the amazing Vanessa Chase over at Philanthropy for All  shared a most incredible Ted talk by Amanda Palmer on the art of asking. I invite you to watch it and share your thoughts and experiences of asking.

What stands out to me in this video? She asks for help. She asks frequently. She isn’t ashamed. And she receives help, thanks people, and connects with them.

She speaks about the direct connection that you get with people through asking and receiving. That asking for help is not a shameful thing, nor is it a one way relationship. She tells stories of using the internet and tools like Twitter to enable this. How they give her fans the abilities to help her out with advice, food, and so much more and to feel valuable in return.

Is this fair?

Amanda gives the example of couchsurfing with a family who slept on their couches so that she and her band could take the beds. ‘Is this fair?’ she asked herself – and the response is incredible. In the morning, the mom thanks her for the music she sings, as it has truly helped her daughter. She thanks her for choosing their house to sleep in. The act of accepting help from this family was accepting a thank you. It was saying to them that they are incredible. Amanda and her band got a bed for the night but that family, they got just as much, if not more.

Independence, by flickr user dougtone

An obsession with Independence

And yet, so often people seem ashamed to ask for help, worried that we will be putting someone out, that they will only say yes because they feel they have to. And receiving help is often even harder. We seem to have a culture of independence first whenever possible – ‘no thanks, I can do that myself’. And yet, we seem to be avoiding the well known fact that the world, and all of us within it, are interdependent – we depend on each other. We forget that asking for help can in fact be a gift to that other person. By asking we are saying ‘I trust you and you have something of incredible value to me – you are important and valuable’. And then they give….and they feel good.

Why do people give their time, money, skills, food, beds etc? – Why wouldn’t we?                                                                                       When we give, we feel good….so we give more. 

With this in mind, by not asking for help (and showing much gratitude when it is given) do we not deprive people of the most amazing feeling in the world – to feel good about themselves?

What would happen if we starting asking everyone for help – even those who life has given an abundance of challenges?

And now let’s relate this to people ‘experiencing disadvantage’. Maybe they have a low income, a disability, mental illness, or have just had a rough time in life. How much do we ask them for help? We give it, yes, but when do we ask for it? ‘These people have so little, is it fair to ask?’. But by not asking what are we saying to them? Are we not inadvertently saying ‘you don’t have anything to give, you are not valuable’?

Asking is not begging – it’s about community

Begging is when we ask for something for ‘those poor people’. You give because you feel bad for someone, because you feel you have more than them and want to share. The feel good factor is not an even street.

Asking is different. It is about asking someone to share their valuable skills, resources, etc. Asking is an opportunity for both parties. Asking is about community. Each and every one of us asking, receiving and giving. All of us feeling good for it.

Why we are not a charity

In our Check It Out Team, everyone gives and receives

Unfortunately, often charities are associated with the begging definition above. We at The You Can Hub have purposely decided not to be a charity for this very reason. We feel uncomfortable with concept of asking or giving out of pity. We want to do things differently. We value community and believe that together, anything is possible. We believe that everyone can live a life we love but that to achieve this, we need to work together. We need to ask for help, give help, receive help and be extremely grateful for this whole cycle. We believe that everyone has something of value, something to give and that everyone needs a bit of help to get over life’s challenges. We are not us and them….we are just us.

We are always looking for new and wonderful ways to fund our work. So, slowly we are learning the art of asking. We are setting up crowdfunding tools like localgiving, experimenting with different campaigns and recently we have even started playing with a Give What You Like model with some our consultancy work.

Agree? Intrigued? Join us!

So we invite you to help us, join us. We want to connect with you. You are valuable. Your community needs you. And in return you will get smiles, and laughs and big high fives and thank you’s to no end…and we will help you feel comfortable with asking for help when you need it too. You give, you feel. You get, you feel. And isn’t feeling good what life is really all about?

I wrote a poem today – for the first time since I was 16. I don’t ‘do’ poetry. It feels silly. I don’t follow any ‘right’ way. I don’t think it’s worthy of others reading. That’s why I don’t do poetry – or so my head tells me. 

And yet, as I sat on my bed, with my laptop to hand, I just started writing. It wasn’t meant to be a poem. So let’s stop calling it that. It’s a story. A story of vulnerability, exhilaration, frustration. It’s a story of feeling, of the reality I’m living. Yes, ‘a story’ – that’s better. 

And with my inner critic kicking and screaming (she’s the opposite of the one who took over below, we’ll meet her another time), I am going to share this with you. Why? Because I believe in the power of vulnerability, of honesty. It has the power to bring people together, to connect. 

Why does this terrify me? Because I’m a ‘Director of The You Can Hub’. I’m supposed to be someone that ‘knows’. Someone that’s figured it out already. Someone who knows exactly what it is that makes them tick. Right?

But here’s the honest truth: I don’t know either. Well, sometimes I think I do, but more often I convince myself that I don’t. But what’s so wrong with that? We’re all human… and really, no one knows. No one knows truly, fully, everything that it is that makes them feel alive. 

So, Hi. I’m Mel, and I’m human. I’m figuring it out too. And it’s a hell of an adventure. One that I’d much prefer to do with you. So if the above or the below resonates with you, (and I hope it does… I’m pretty sure it does, at least with some of you…) then I’d love to hear your story too.  

Shhh It’s a secret 

Shh, it’s a secret.

I’m not sure what, but it is.

I can’t quite put my finger on it…

But please don’t tell.

Mini cheeky Mel

There’s something inside of me. A small child gleefully, playfully keeping it to herself.

The secret to what makes me come alive.

That thing that I have always wanted to do.

But I don’t know what it is. Sometimes, she whispers it

Or gives me a crooked grin

Sometimes I think I can maybe, just maybe, grab ahold of it, touch it, just with my pinky.

And then she pulls it away

giggling,

laughing,

loving to play hard to get.

I will catch you silly girl.

Each time that you let part of the secret slip,

I will catch it in a net!

And you?

You will let me

Because really, you want me to.

You want me to be in on it. You want me to shout it from the rooftops!

But you know that

if you say it all at once,

I won’t listen.

I’ll run for the hills.

I won’t tell anyone because, well, it’s impossible.

I can’t be truly happy. Fully content. Think how silly I would look. Think how silly that would be.

But if you share it with me, drip by drip, it will start to click.

Without even knowing it, I’ll start testing it out.

Seeing if it’s possible to live that life,

to feel alive.

And one day, I will catch you

you silly girl.

And my life will fill with laughter and glee

As you take it over

Pushing down all of those inner critics

You. will. be. triumphant!

And together,

We will shout it from the rooftops

You’ll see.

My thank you letter to you

When was the last time you wrote a hand written letter to someone? The last time you wrote a love letter? Truly thanked someone for the role that they have played in your life? This week we present you with a challenge. In fact, one of our favourite bloggers, Scott Dinsmore over at Live Your Legend presents you with a challenge. He calls it, ‘The Gratitude Challenge’. It’s Thanksgiving over in America, and while not everyone in the world celebrates it, the idea of thanking people couldn’t fit better with You Can’s core belief that surrounding yourself with incredible, supportive people makes living life your way a heck of a lot easier.

So, are you in? 

How many hand written notes of thanks can you write in one week?

Head on over to the Live Your Legend blog, check out the TED video he recommends on hand written letters, join in their discussion, and be inspired by how many notes others are writing by looking at the comments. And do tell us what you are up to and how many notes you have challenged yourself to write this week by commenting below.

Me? I will write 5 notes this week, plus the one to all of you above.

I can’t express the emotion that this video evokes in me. The name Gen Why says it all. We are a generation that questions the world. That asks why things have to be the way they are. As the video says, “it is foolish to assume that my generation is apathetic and lathargic.”

Read further down Gen Why’s Story page and you will see that they started from a discussion over coffee (like us! Though it was tea…) about generational theory, where every four generations a ‘hero generation’ is born. Is that us? Is that what we are doing now? With all the negative press that the young ones get these days, is it the younger generation who are in fact inspiring the ones before…saying it doesn’t have to be this way?

“But I can change the world and I refuse to believe that I am a part of the lost generation.”

Have a go at cycling with your friends

What better way to get some quality time with your friends than jumping on a bike together.    As you might already know, it is possible to hire our bikes from Milton Country Park most days. (Just make sure you book ahead by calling 01223 420 060) But what about those people that are new to cycling or who may need an extra hand getting started? From September we will have times on many Tuesdays where there are instructors on hand for help and support. So come along and give these amazing bikes a try with a friend!