Posts tagged vulnerability

Last December, my husband signed me up for the gym. I didn’t manage to make it there at all that month and I finally had my induction in January. I wasn’t exactly over the moon with the whole gym idea. For a long time I’d been convinced that I’d reached the fitness limits of my health condition; I’d had lots of tweaks of medication over the years and was told, “Some people just feel rubbish on the medication you’re taking, because it’s not the same as your body making it yourself.” I’ve been running for a few years now, which has helped, but I was stuck at running around 2km.

I surprised myself quite quickly at the gym and despite being unable to lift a cup of tea to my lips the day after my first strength session, there were almost immediate gains in my energy levels. And so, in September, I set myself a challenge – an Impossible challenge. To make the shift from running 2.5km on a regular basis to trying my first 5km run.

I started my training schedule, with a date firmly in the diary at the end of October. It was all going so well. I rocketed through the training and my energy levels rocketed too. At the beginning of October, I wrote in my journal…

“Up to last week I still felt unsure about running 5km. It seemed a big jump from running 2.5km, 3km. Can I really do this? From my running rate it seems that it’s going to take me 40-45 minutes. Am I fit enough? Yesterday on the treadmill, I managed 3.9km and it started to feel real. But then, today, I totally surprised myself. I walked for 5 minutes, ran for 25 minutes, walked for 5 minutes… and at the end the treadmill dashboard said it loud and proud – I did 5k! This is it! I feel certain now, 100% certain that I will finish the run and still be standing. I might even enjoy it! I might even do it in a good time!”

It was amazing! I felt invincible! But since then, this challenge has been more about patience, flexibility, and healing. First, I started getting a niggle in my heel. I listened to it, and eased off on the training. I reduced the amount I was cycling. Then I picked up a throat infection, just three days before my run date. It all happened very quickly and before I knew it I had sky high fever and difficulty swallowing. The pharmacist dispatched me to a walk-in clinic and the duty doctor made a “Ugh” sound with accompanying facial expression when he looked at my tonsils – antibiotics for me, and no chance of a run. I shifted the date a few weeks down the line, needing to have total rest for a week. Then after my rest, feeling much better, I started back into my training and my heel flared up in a major way. I took it really easy with my training and got some tips via the Internets from my cousin Aimee over at Revitalise Fitness; these really helped and it stopped getting worse, but it still didn’t get better.

It was time to call in the big guns, and get some in-person physio. I checked in with Tom at Core Fitness, and it turned out to be a classic beginner runner’s injury, my Achilles. There was nothing serious, just some early warning signs. The tips from my cousin were perfect, I just needed a couple of extra exercises. It was time to do some learning – learning how to better prepare my body for running, and help it to restore afterwards. And absolutely no 5k until I could consistently run 3k without pain the next day.

My date got shifted again. Serious frustration alert! Am I ever going to be able to do this run? I had two potential November dates in my mind, and they both had to get swept aside again. I did a fair amount of huffing and puffing and whingeing – mostly to my husband, Mel and Ruth at You Can, and my fellow Impossibles in our facebook group. They encouraged me to hang in there. I responded well to the exercises I was given, and in two weeks I was back to running with no pain. Result! Excitement, but still taking it easy and some words of caution from the physio – you’re lucky, you caught it early, you probably feel like it’s all back to normal but it’s going to take a while to settle down so don’t do anything to shock it. So I’m staying away from my bike until after my run, because cycling seems to make it worse, and I’m being super-good about my warm ups and cool downs, and I’ve been slowly increasing the distance with a mix of walk-running.

And now, here I am. The day before D-Day. Or is that 5K-Day? I’m actually going to do it. And I haven’t run or walk-run 5k since that amazing day on the treadmill back in October. James Altucher writes that it takes practice to be the person who is a source of compassion and honesty. This journey towards my Impossible could have been about pushing through, just powering on to stick to my committed date. But defeating my nemesis, the Robot of Mediocrity, isn’t always about fighting. I’ve learned much more by doing things this way – being honest with myself, showing myself compassion, letting myself heal and learning new ways to be compassionate to myself – even in the way that I prepare for and wind down from a run. I’m also in awe of the compassion and generosity of my friends, family, and supporters who have continued to back me with messages and donations – as for an extra level of accountability, I decided to make my challenge a sponsored event to raise funds for our work.

I hope that I show myself this same level of compassion tomorrow, whatever my time. For now, the predominant feeling is: Eek!

Wish me luck.

_ _ _

You can read James Altucher on patience here. And yes – maybe, just maybe, I’m on my way to becoming a Jedi Knight. And that beats running a 5k, any day!

And of course there’s still time to make a donation, if you’d like 🙂 Head on over to my sponsorship page here and hit the big orange “Donate now” button, and any donation up to £10 will be matched by our local community foundation, so you can double your money. Serious feel good factor! With match funding and gift aid I’ve already raised over £1000. So thank you to you fabulous donors!

If you want to take on your own challenge soon and you want some friendly support, check out the Impossibles. Your challenge doesn’t have to be sponsored and you can have a whole lot of fun along the way!

Last December, my husband signed me up for the gym. I didn’t manage to make it there at all that month and I finally had my induction in January. I wasn’t exactly over the moon with the whole gym idea. For a long time I’d been convinced that I’d reached the fitness limits of my health condition; I’d had lots of tweaks of medication over the years and was told, “Some people just feel rubbish on the medication you’re taking, because it’s not the same as your body making it yourself.” I’ve been running for a few years now, which has helped, but I was stuck at running around 2km.

I surprised myself quite quickly at the gym and despite being unable to lift a cup of tea to my lips the day after my first strength session, there were almost immediate gains in my energy levels. And so, in September, I set myself a challenge – an Impossible challenge. To make the shift from running 2.5km on a regular basis to trying my first 5km run.

I started my training schedule, with a date firmly in the diary at the end of October. It was all going so well. I rocketed through the training and my energy levels rocketed too. At the beginning of October, I wrote in my journal…

“Up to last week I still felt unsure about running 5km. It seemed a big jump from running 2.5km, 3km. Can I really do this? From my running rate it seems that it’s going to take me 40-45 minutes. Am I fit enough? Yesterday on the treadmill, I managed 3.9km and it started to feel real. But then, today, I totally surprised myself. I walked for 5 minutes, ran for 25 minutes, walked for 5 minutes… and at the end the treadmill dashboard said it loud and proud – I did 5k! This is it! I feel certain now, 100% certain that I will finish the run and still be standing. I might even enjoy it! I might even do it in a good time!”

It was amazing! I felt invincible! But since then, this challenge has been more about patience, flexibility, and healing. First, I started getting a niggle in my heel. I listened to it, and eased off on the training. I reduced the amount I was cycling. Then I picked up a throat infection, just three days before my run date. It all happened very quickly and before I knew it I had sky high fever and difficulty swallowing. The pharmacist dispatched me to a walk-in clinic and the duty doctor made a “Ugh” sound with accompanying facial expression when he looked at my tonsils – antibiotics for me, and no chance of a run. I shifted the date a few weeks down the line, needing to have total rest for a week. Then after my rest, feeling much better, I started back into my training and my heel flared up in a major way. I took it really easy with my training and got some tips via the Internets from my cousin Aimee over at Revitalise Fitness; these really helped and it stopped getting worse, but it still didn’t get better.

It was time to call in the big guns, and get some in-person physio. I checked in with Tom at Core Fitness, and it turned out to be a classic beginner runner’s injury, my Achilles. There was nothing serious, just some early warning signs. The tips from my cousin were perfect, I just needed a couple of extra exercises. It was time to do some learning – learning how to better prepare my body for running, and help it to restore afterwards. And absolutely no 5k until I could consistently run 3k without pain the next day.

My date got shifted again. Serious frustration alert! Am I ever going to be able to do this run? I had two potential November dates in my mind, and they both had to get swept aside again. I did a fair amount of huffing and puffing and whingeing – mostly to my husband, Mel and Ruth at You Can, and my fellow Impossibles in our facebook group. They encouraged me to hang in there. I responded well to the exercises I was given, and in two weeks I was back to running with no pain. Result! Excitement, but still taking it easy and some words of caution from the physio – you’re lucky, you caught it early, you probably feel like it’s all back to normal but it’s going to take a while to settle down so don’t do anything to shock it. So I’m staying away from my bike until after my run, because cycling seems to make it worse, and I’m being super-good about my warm ups and cool downs, and I’ve been slowly increasing the distance with a mix of walk-running.

And now, here I am. The day before D-Day. Or is that 5K-Day? I’m actually going to do it. And I haven’t run or walk-run 5k since that amazing day on the treadmill back in October. James Altucher writes that it takes practice to be the person who is a source of compassion and honesty. This journey towards my Impossible could have been about pushing through, just powering on to stick to my committed date. But defeating my nemesis, the Robot of Mediocrity, isn’t always about fighting. I’ve learned much more by doing things this way – being honest with myself, showing myself compassion, letting myself heal and learning new ways to be compassionate to myself – even in the way that I prepare for and wind down from a run. I’m also in awe of the compassion and generosity of my friends, family, and supporters who have continued to back me with messages and donations – as for an extra level of accountability, I decided to make my challenge a sponsored event to raise funds for our work.

I hope that I show myself this same level of compassion tomorrow, whatever my time. For now, the predominant feeling is: Eek!

Wish me luck.

_ _ _

You can read James Altucher on patience here. And yes – maybe, just maybe, I’m on my way to becoming a Jedi Knight. And that beats running a 5k, any day!

And of course there’s still time to make a donation, if you’d like 🙂 Head on over to my sponsorship page here and hit the big orange “Donate now” button, and any donation up to £10 will be matched by our local community foundation, so you can double your money. Serious feel good factor! With match funding and gift aid I’ve already raised over £1000. So thank you to you fabulous donors!

If you want to take on your own challenge soon and you want some friendly support, check out the Impossibles. Your challenge doesn’t have to be sponsored and you can have a whole lot of fun along the way!

I’m Ruth, one of The Impossibles, and I have set myself a challenge of riding my old bike 50 miles!

The exclamation mark indicates to me (and hopefully to you) that, for me, this is a long, long way!! It is way out of my ‘comfort zone’. I was away recently and got chatting to a guy who had cycled from London to Moscow!!! My jaw dropped…I was staggered…so many miles…I began to question if what I was doing was ‘enough’….then on reflection I realised that actually my journey is the equivalent of his Moscow!!!

The journey is such that it is a challenge…I’m the one who has set it…and I know that it is going to be an achievement. I think too often we question if we can do something new because it is too big to imagine doing..we need to think ‘steps’ ( or pedals?!) and this is the way we break through that ‘I can’t do that barrier’.

Why am I doing this you may ask…I want to make my pulse race! (in the nicest possible way!!)

So what has the You Can Hub done for me? I have been working with them for about two years. The following will help to put you in the picture I think about the ‘why’.

I’ve always been a team player….never a leader…but since working with the You Can Hub I’ve recognised that I can do it! I can do both!The You Can Hub has helped me to feel that my decisions…my choices are valid…that they have come from my experiences which I now realise is actually extensive! I now feel as if people want to know what I think…they want to know how I work…I seem to be a person who has something to say and others want to know about it! The You Can Hub has done that!

It has felt a two way process… I’m giving as well as receiving…I like that! I don’t feel as though I’m being mentored…it’s about natural positive support…enabling me to try stuff out…not to feel panic stricken if things don’t work out…reminding me that we often learn the most when we make mistakes…and that’s actually not only ok but bloody brilliant! New stuff happens!

There have been tears! But actually they’ve mostly been tears of laughter! There has been the odd occasion when I felt that its all too much…so I’ve cried…and I’ve discovered actually its not been about it all being ‘too much’ it’s actually been about change happening ….and I’ve ‘wobbled’ …(nothing wrong with worry wobbles I say)..so now I recognise that I feel more in control…less panicky…

Through The You Can Hub I have become project facilitator of a project called You Can Bike Too. I did that! The You Can Bike Too project has developed further than I would have thought possible…it’s continuing to develop… The You Can Hub has helped me to see the ‘bigger picture’. I am a very ‘reactive’ person who likes to deal with what’s in front of me…sort it! I’m now beginning to relax re the bigger picture…!

So how does it work? Offers of help….doing the stuff that I struggle with…whilst encouraging me to ‘have a go’ …praising my efforts…”your passion shines through!” Those kind of words(whilst I struggle to fill in a funding form!) Help to say that I don’t know how to…even the little things… I feel that it’s ok (must be annoying!) to say where’s the ‘on’ button? ( if you know what I mean!)

So I’m doing my ‘Moscow’ cycle ride very soon…I’ve decided to be part of The You Can ‘The Impossibles.’ These people are people who cheer you on…help you to see that there is a community out there willing you on to do it! I love the fact that there is a Facebook group for people who choose their challenge and need support off each other…giving and receiving support from each other. People who are total strangers can come together in their Impossible Community.

My big ride is this Friday, weather permitting. I’ll let you know how I get on! Bring it on! For an extra level of accountability I’m doing this as a sponsored challenge, raising funds for the You Can Hub. Please feel free to make me accountable and make a donation! Click the link to read more about me and make a donation on my sponsorship page.

And feel free to get involved! Join the Impossibles!

I’m Ruth, one of The Impossibles, and I have set myself a challenge of riding my old bike 50 miles!

The exclamation mark indicates to me (and hopefully to you) that, for me, this is a long, long way!! It is way out of my ‘comfort zone’. I was away recently and got chatting to a guy who had cycled from London to Moscow!!! My jaw dropped…I was staggered…so many miles…I began to question if what I was doing was ‘enough’….then on reflection I realised that actually my journey is the equivalent of his Moscow!!!

The journey is such that it is a challenge…I’m the one who has set it…and I know that it is going to be an achievement. I think too often we question if we can do something new because it is too big to imagine doing..we need to think ‘steps’ ( or pedals?!) and this is the way we break through that ‘I can’t do that barrier’.

Why am I doing this you may ask…I want to make my pulse race! (in the nicest possible way!!)

So what has the You Can Hub done for me? I have been working with them for about two years. The following will help to put you in the picture I think about the ‘why’.

I’ve always been a team player….never a leader…but since working with the You Can Hub I’ve recognised that I can do it! I can do both!The You Can Hub has helped me to feel that my decisions…my choices are valid…that they have come from my experiences which I now realise is actually extensive! I now feel as if people want to know what I think…they want to know how I work…I seem to be a person who has something to say and others want to know about it! The You Can Hub has done that!

It has felt a two way process… I’m giving as well as receiving…I like that! I don’t feel as though I’m being mentored…it’s about natural positive support…enabling me to try stuff out…not to feel panic stricken if things don’t work out…reminding me that we often learn the most when we make mistakes…and that’s actually not only ok but bloody brilliant! New stuff happens!

There have been tears! But actually they’ve mostly been tears of laughter! There has been the odd occasion when I felt that its all too much…so I’ve cried…and I’ve discovered actually its not been about it all being ‘too much’ it’s actually been about change happening ….and I’ve ‘wobbled’ …(nothing wrong with worry wobbles I say)..so now I recognise that I feel more in control…less panicky…

Through The You Can Hub I have become project facilitator of a project called You Can Bike Too. I did that! The You Can Bike Too project has developed further than I would have thought possible…it’s continuing to develop… The You Can Hub has helped me to see the ‘bigger picture’. I am a very ‘reactive’ person who likes to deal with what’s in front of me…sort it! I’m now beginning to relax re the bigger picture…!

So how does it work? Offers of help….doing the stuff that I struggle with…whilst encouraging me to ‘have a go’ …praising my efforts…”your passion shines through!” Those kind of words(whilst I struggle to fill in a funding form!) Help to say that I don’t know how to…even the little things… I feel that it’s ok (must be annoying!) to say where’s the ‘on’ button? ( if you know what I mean!)

So I’m doing my ‘Moscow’ cycle ride very soon…I’ve decided to be part of The You Can ‘The Impossibles.’ These people are people who cheer you on…help you to see that there is a community out there willing you on to do it! I love the fact that there is a Facebook group for people who choose their challenge and need support off each other…giving and receiving support from each other. People who are total strangers can come together in their Impossible Community.

My big ride is this Friday, weather permitting. I’ll let you know how I get on! Bring it on! For an extra level of accountability I’m doing this as a sponsored challenge, raising funds for the You Can Hub. Please feel free to make me accountable and make a donation! Click the link to read more about me and make a donation on my sponsorship page.

And feel free to get involved! Join the Impossibles!

In the past seven days, I’ve been making a start on my first 30 day impossible challenge – to get up, get outside, and get a photo of the sun rising. As Mel recently asked, “Why would you want to do that?” – and I thought you might like to know too!

Ever since I was ill back in 2007, I have really struggled to get out of bed in the morning. I had some problems with getting diagnosed which meant that by the time I got appropriate treatment I was spending three quarters of the day in bed and still not feeling rested or refreshed. I found it incredibly difficult to wake up in the morning; I didn’t respond to the alarm, and my now husband used to have to wake me up, almost like being woken from a drugged sleep.

Once I was on the right treatment, I still had problems. I’ve struggled on and off with chronic fatigue and after some experimentation with medication in the years after my diagnosis I was finally told “some people just feel rubbish on the meds you take” (I take a synthetic form of a hormone that my body has stopped producing as a result of an autoimmune disease).

Related to my health challenges, I’m planning on running a 5k this Autumn (something you’ll hear about soon if you keep an eye on #theimpossibles). This is something that would have been impossible for me not that long ago. A side-effect of needing to do more training to build up my fitness was a need for more space in the morning. So it was time for an experiment. Could I get up earlier?

This felt so difficult I knew I needed two things:
1) An incentive
2) External accountability

I voiced my concerns to my good friend and photographer Israel Smith and he set me a challenge – get up and see the sunrise by the end of the week. Then report back. I reported back in the form of a photo:

It was a great experience. I learned that I could get up early, actually – it wasn’t physically impossible. And I learned that I enjoyed it. The only thing is, after a few days I was back to struggling to get up again. They say it takes 30 days to set a new habit, so I decided to turn this little experiment into a 30 Day Impossible Challenge and see if I could make a more permanent change to my daily routine.

So, what does it feel like to be on Day Eight? With 22 more days to go? It’s actually kind of surprising…

I’m really enjoying it.

The last couple of days I have been awake before the alarm goes off. The “problem” that has emerged is that I am actually struggling to come home. Once I’m out, it’s such a magical atmosphere and there’s so many amazing things to see and learn. I’m developing a friendly relationship with my local cows – although they’re getting a little too friendly with my bike:

Play “Spot the Bike”

I’m noticing the patterns of the day – the way the cows move around the fields in the morning, the way the birds are hidden but singing at first, but then once the sun’s gold emerges they start dancing through the sky. The way the water on the river is milky still some days, and rippled on others.

I am tired. But actually, I don’t think I’m any more tired than before. I’ve had days where, at the end of the day, I’ve felt very tired. But that just means that I do less in the evening, and think more carefully about what I do with my energy at that time. And actually, I’m sleeping a lot better. I was sleeping really fitfully before, and now I sleep right through. I’m being careful to get to sleep earlier and have a good sleep routine. The week before I started the challenge, I had a week away with my husband and we had a sort-of retreat – we made a pact not to watch TV. And I found that’s really helped too; not watching TV in the evenings means that I’m more likely* to make better decisions about what I need to do to look after myself.

It’s funny because for the past five years, I haven’t thought of myself as an early riser – not at all. And this little experiment might just have turned that thought on it’s head, and had some unexpected benefits – the discovery of some magical creative time in the morning, time when I can take photos of cows and spiders and bikes and grass and feel just a little bit more grateful about things.

What about you – does my “Impossible” seem like a walk in the park for you? If you did a 30 Day Challenge, what would it be? Which area of your life do you want to experiment with?

* No one’s perfect, right? 🙂

You can see the full set of photos I’ve taken so far here: Lou’s 30 Day Sunrise Photo Challenge on Flickr. I can’t wait to hear what you think!

In the past seven days, I’ve been making a start on my first 30 day impossible challenge – to get up, get outside, and get a photo of the sun rising. As Mel recently asked, “Why would you want to do that?” – and I thought you might like to know too!

Ever since I was ill back in 2007, I have really struggled to get out of bed in the morning. I had some problems with getting diagnosed which meant that by the time I got appropriate treatment I was spending three quarters of the day in bed and still not feeling rested or refreshed. I found it incredibly difficult to wake up in the morning; I didn’t respond to the alarm, and my now husband used to have to wake me up, almost like being woken from a drugged sleep.

Once I was on the right treatment, I still had problems. I’ve struggled on and off with chronic fatigue and after some experimentation with medication in the years after my diagnosis I was finally told “some people just feel rubbish on the meds you take” (I take a synthetic form of a hormone that my body has stopped producing as a result of an autoimmune disease).

Related to my health challenges, I’m planning on running a 5k this Autumn (something you’ll hear about soon if you keep an eye on #theimpossibles). This is something that would have been impossible for me not that long ago. A side-effect of needing to do more training to build up my fitness was a need for more space in the morning. So it was time for an experiment. Could I get up earlier?

This felt so difficult I knew I needed two things:
1) An incentive
2) External accountability

I voiced my concerns to my good friend and photographer Israel Smith and he set me a challenge – get up and see the sunrise by the end of the week. Then report back. I reported back in the form of a photo:

It was a great experience. I learned that I could get up early, actually – it wasn’t physically impossible. And I learned that I enjoyed it. The only thing is, after a few days I was back to struggling to get up again. They say it takes 30 days to set a new habit, so I decided to turn this little experiment into a 30 Day Impossible Challenge and see if I could make a more permanent change to my daily routine.

So, what does it feel like to be on Day Eight? With 22 more days to go? It’s actually kind of surprising…

I’m really enjoying it.

The last couple of days I have been awake before the alarm goes off. The “problem” that has emerged is that I am actually struggling to come home. Once I’m out, it’s such a magical atmosphere and there’s so many amazing things to see and learn. I’m developing a friendly relationship with my local cows – although they’re getting a little too friendly with my bike:

Play “Spot the Bike”

I’m noticing the patterns of the day – the way the cows move around the fields in the morning, the way the birds are hidden but singing at first, but then once the sun’s gold emerges they start dancing through the sky. The way the water on the river is milky still some days, and rippled on others.

I am tired. But actually, I don’t think I’m any more tired than before. I’ve had days where, at the end of the day, I’ve felt very tired. But that just means that I do less in the evening, and think more carefully about what I do with my energy at that time. And actually, I’m sleeping a lot better. I was sleeping really fitfully before, and now I sleep right through. I’m being careful to get to sleep earlier and have a good sleep routine. The week before I started the challenge, I had a week away with my husband and we had a sort-of retreat – we made a pact not to watch TV. And I found that’s really helped too; not watching TV in the evenings means that I’m more likely* to make better decisions about what I need to do to look after myself.

It’s funny because for the past five years, I haven’t thought of myself as an early riser – not at all. And this little experiment might just have turned that thought on it’s head, and had some unexpected benefits – the discovery of some magical creative time in the morning, time when I can take photos of cows and spiders and bikes and grass and feel just a little bit more grateful about things.

What about you – does my “Impossible” seem like a walk in the park for you? If you did a 30 Day Challenge, what would it be? Which area of your life do you want to experiment with?

* No one’s perfect, right? 🙂

You can see the full set of photos I’ve taken so far here: Lou’s 30 Day Sunrise Photo Challenge on Flickr. I can’t wait to hear what you think!

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 28 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

A few days ago, I announced to the world that I am apparently ‘infertile’. Today, I tell you about my official ‘unexplained infertility’ diagnosis, the decision to go forward with IVF and the many emotions that come with that decision.

For 2 more days I will post a video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Since Danger Lou first made her tentative steps on screen, many of you have been talking to me about the kinds of risks that you take every day, and particularly the things that scare you. There’s lots of things that we find scary: flying is a common one, sharks; speaking on a stage in front of people. Some fears are rational: things like sharks, heights, snakes – because they’re based, on some level, on keeping us alive. Sharks are dangerous – you know, sharp teeth and all that. Snakes can be poisonous. Heights – well, there’s always the possibility of falling.

Somewhere along the line, fears that help us to stay alive became fears that help us to stay safe. What does staying safe mean to you? Not risking letting people down? Not risking having what it takes? Not risking saying what you think? Fear becomes something that, instead of keeping us alive, is keeping us from living.

Chris Brogan tells us that the opposite of fear is not bravery, or courage. “The opposite of fear is surrender. The opposite of fear is giving up. The opposite of fear is not really taking the swing.”

Fear is personal. For me, fear is being willing to go on video dressed in a superhero costume you made yourself. Fear is committing to raise the funds to make it to a tiny conference in the middle of nowhere that no one has ever heard of, and asking people to believe in what will come next. Fear is then travelling on my own to the States for the first time. And it is also turning up to the gym for the first time back in January – and then keeping on turning up at the gym, even if I have weeks where I can’t make it, or a session that feels extra difficult. After I talked to Ann Hawkins on The Social Media Show about travelling to Fargo, she wondered if I was scared – of course I was. Danger Lou is all about being scared, and holding your hand up to say so.

For Mel, fear is being willing to go on stage in front of 2800 people dressed as a cardboard robot with just two days notice – and taking your robot head off in front of all those people so that they can see the person behind the box. And it is also just picking up the phone to query something.

What are the risks that you take, every day, every week? What is it that helps you to keep trying? When was the last time you were even just a little bit scared, perhaps about something that you think other people find really easy? And, what are the swings that you don’t take, where the risks seem too high? Where in your life do you give up?

In my next post I’ll be exploring three ways to think about fear that might be useful. Make sure you don’t miss out, and sign up here.

You might also be interested in joining Danger Lou in Cambridge at the end of this month: click here.

I’d love to hear from you! Leave your response below.

If you’re in Cambridge at the end of August, you’re up for a treat. You can join in with the very first of the Danger You Challenge Series!

Join Danger Lou!

August 27th 2013 – 6pm to 8pm

If you’ve watched the movie and you’re inspired to buy tickets right away:

This workshop is for you if:

• You want to build your confidence in small steps
• You want to create good habits
• You want to share the experience of taking on challenges with others, in a supportive group
• You want to show up and speak up – in different aspects of your life
• You want to be confident to contribute

You will:

• Take the first step and do something challenging (with people there to hold your hand)
• Develop a simple structure to help you show up more confidently
• Get awesome feedback from the community in the room with you on the spot
• Boost your confidence
• Take away real usable strategies for overcoming fear next time

**UPDATED DETAILS FOR INTRIGUED ADVENTURERS**

We can now reveal that this first challenge will be a speaking challenge. So if you aren’t confident meeting new people, if you don’t like picking up the phone, if you keep quiet in meetings because you think everyone knows better, if you don’t like being put on the spot or starting a conversation – then this is the workshop for you!

You will:

• Take the first step in speaking in front of others
• Practice in a supportive environment
• Identify a clear strategy to help you get talking, sooner

You will be working with two experienced facilitators including Danger Lou herself.

Spaces are limited. The session is for only 10 people so that you have 1:5 attention and get the most out of the session.

All you need to bring is yourself, and some fear and excitement!

Are you an Intrepid Explorer?

Until August 6th, only Intrepid Explorer tickets are available. This means that if you sign up now, you’ll get the best value AND an awesome title. Who doesn’t want to be an Intrepid Explorer? If you wait until after 5pm (UK time) on August 6th, you’ll miss out on that title. Tickets for Intrepid Explorers are now closed.

Are you an Intrigued Adventurer?

Hey there, adventurer. Up until now, you’ve been watching from the sidelines, keeping an eye on development. You’ve been intrigued! You want a piece of the action but, well, you didn’t want to be first. Well, good new! You don’t have to be! The Intrepid Explorers have leapt in, and now the way is clear for you. Until August 13th, 5pm (UK time), only Intrigued Adventurer tickets are available. If you weren’t ready to jump in as an Intrepid Explorer and you needed more information, now’s your chance!

Ready to jump in? Intrigued adventurer step this way!

We can’t wait to see you!

We’ll be releasing more information as the event gets closer – but if you wait for more information, the price rises. So what will it be? Are you an intrepid explorer, intrigued adventurer, inspired follower, or last minute lemming?

If you’re not ready to jump in just yet, sign up for the latest Danger You updates below. This also works if you’re not in Cambridge, UK and you’d like to hear about online opportunities to get more dangerous.

Today, my good friend, neighbour and unofficial British grandma passed away. I’m not sure what my challenge is for the sake of this video…admitting that not everything is in my hands….that I can’t be everywhere at once maybe. Just being honest about me and my day, I guess. So here’s me saying goodbye to Jean. She was an incredible women who will not be forgotten. I miss you already.

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 24 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

For 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)