Posts tagged vulnerability

Why Portland? Why the World Domination Summit?

DangerLou and her Nemesis – The Robot of Mediocrity

#DangerLou is in Portland because 10 months ago, I took a risk. I knew that I’d seen the awesomeness that is Chris Brogan giving the best speech he ever gave from last year’s conference on vimeo.

I know that it is the conference to get to if we want to kick conformity’s ass and meet people trying to find different ways of living and earning.

I didn’t know that I definitely had the money to go. I did know that it would be very competitive to get tickets. So, I took a risk. I waited for the day and time to apply for a ticket and made myself a deal. If I put my name in the registration page and got a ticket, then I would find a way to get there. If I didn’t, I would be sure to catch up online.

I took a risk and the Universe decided I got a ticket; now, here I am in Portland. I inspired my co-conspirator Mel to take a risk too. So here we are, ready to meet you.

So if you are also in Portland, come and find us. Today, Friday, you may even spot Danger Lou in her cape alongside her nemesis, the robot of mediocrity. And if you are wondering what this Danger Lou thing is about – “Sure, it’s fun but what’s the point?” Then check out the Danger Lou trailer here and remember these three questions and prompts that Danger Lou is keen for everyone to explore and answer:

1. Do something small that both scares and excites you every day
2. Every superhero needs sidekicks
3. Strike a pose – copied from your favourite superhero – it will help you feel like a superhero too*
4. Define your impossible – what are you stopping yourself from even starting?
5. Name your nemesis – what’s holding you back?

#DangerLou is about celebrating small risks, being playful and helping each other achieve our impossible Danger Lou is my not-so-secret identity – what’s yours?

What would happen if you answered the questions above? That’s why I’m in Portland. To help myself answer these questions while prompting you to answer them for yourself too. Meeting a whole ton of people who are revealing their superhero powers. And if you need a team of sidekicks, you can join the You Can community and we’ll do our best to keep you laughing and living and taking risks every day.

*Check out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on the value of power poses and how they can help you.

So let me know – what’s your secret identity? I’d love to hear it, in the comments below…

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 20 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

Today, I forgive myself for being human. You may have noticed that yesterday I didn’t post a video. I have been beating myself up for this, for breaking my routine. But here’s the deal. Yesterday, I travelling from Vancouver to Portland. I then proceeded to book my appointment at the doctor, where I as diagnosed with cellulitis, which is a very frustrating and angry infection. But these are all excuses right? Perhaps…. but today, I forgive myself for making them and let myself continue on growing.

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Inviting People In

In Part One, you found out how I ended up with a ticket to a tiny conference about making a huge dent in the Universe, Misfit Conf. I had the go ahead from my team here at You Can to raise the funds to get to the conference and bring back all that amazing learning to help our community. Now I just had to… do it!

In my Misfit application, I talked about taking the gloves off and wanting to kick ass and be Danger Lou. At this point though, I really didn’t feel very confident about it. I wrote a post; note the question mark in the Danger Lou badge I designed in the picture.

There’s a funny thing about being scared. It makes us totally withdraw – that fight or flight response can be turned inward, so that we flee from the world, and fight ourselves. So I named the fear, and invited people in.

First, I asked the You Can Hub team for help to raise the funds. As soon as I asked them to help with ideas, first of all they wanted in. They wanted to help. And they said, “It’s got to be Danger Lou.” It had to involve a costume. And so, Danger Lou went from being a concept in an application form to a real character with a costume. Then Ruth’s fruit and veg box became my nemesis, the Robot of Mediocrity and the rest, as they say, is on youtube.

You might be thinking, it’s ok for you, Lou. You have a team of people around you ready and waiting to help – they already know you! What about me? Well, in the next stage of fear, I needed to ask for help from people I hadn’t met yet.

This was the first time we’ve invited donations at The You Can Hub. I was kind of blown away with the response; very quickly we had three quarters of the money I needed. Flights and accommodation were booked. This was actually happening. Was Danger Lou scared? Of course I was! I’d never been to the States before; never travelled on my own before. It was starting to freak me out. So, I had another thought – invite people in. And I recorded it.

I posted in the conference group. And it turned out there was someone there waiting for me to ask.

There was someone else on the same flight.

I met with Deborah at Heathrow; we shared breakfast and went to the boarding gate together, then met up again in Chicago. And it turned out my challenges weren’t done because a huge thunderstorm hit Chicago just as we were due to make our connection to Fargo. Our flight was cancelled and we had to stay overnight. Putting that post in the conference group was the best decision I ever made; it meant that I had someone to stay with and share the evening with during our unscheduled overnight in Chicago. And now, I’ve made a friend for life.

Here’s my challenge for you:

• What is scaring you at the moment? What are you struggling with?
• Who can you invite in?

There are a few key pointers that help when you’re making the invite:

1. Be open and friendly
2. Be specific about what you’re inviting the person to – give details
3. Be clear about who you’re looking for
4. Be clear about who you are and why you’re asking

Let me know how you get on! In my next post, the final one in this series, I’ll be sharing how I think the conference changed me!

Excited to read the next step? Sign up for our mailing list to get a heads up when the next post is up – straight into your inbox!

You can make a donation to support our work by clicking here.

You can also listen to me talking about Danger Lou on the social media show #TSMShow with Ann Hawkins and Eric Swain – and the great thing is my friend Martyn Sibley, whose nonchalant tweet led me to finding out about conference, features on the show too! Click the link!

On Throwing Your Hat into the Ring

Three weeks ago, on 4th June, I’d just got back from Fargo, North Dakota, for Misfit Conf – a tiny conference about making a huge dent in the Universe. I wasn’t supposed to have been there. This is how it happened.

Back in April this year, I was having a tough time. A year ago, my dad died two days before my 30th birthday in May. It was coming up to the one year anniversary of my dad’s death, and my 31st birthday. I wasn’t sure how to handle it; I just knew I felt pretty grumpy and emotional all the time. People kept asking me, what do you want to do for your birthday? And I couldn’t really answer. I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted to tell everyone to get lost. I wanted to find a cave to hide out in.

My dad at my wedding in July last year, two months after his death

In the past weeks and months, I’d been playing a lot with stories. I’d gained confidence with video and storytelling. And I was browsing Twitter one day when I saw my friend @martynsibley tweeting with someone called @ajleon. I followed the Twitter trail, as you do, and before I knew it I was reading a post all about the Power of Small (which you can read here).

It resonated.

A lot.

Especially in the world of social enterprise in the UK, when it seems that one of the first questions people ask you is, “Is it scalable?” (usually right after, “How are you funded?)

One thing led to another and I ended up here. A tiny conference in Fargo. I read the small print and it said, “All applicants will get access to the recordings.” I thought, this is amazing! A whole host of knowledge in one place, knowledge we know we need at You Can Hub right now. Crowdfunding, writing, creating a business that moulds to the life you want to lead, and makes a difference in the world. And I can fill in one short form with two questions, and get access to recordings and all that stuff? Win win! I filled out the application in quite a blase playful way. You can read the application in this post.

Cut to two weeks later. I’m sitting up in bed on a Saturday morning with a cup of tea. I write a little in my journal, the briefly check my emails. Something catches my eye – an email with no subject from someone called Melissa Leon. I recognise the surname but I can’t place it. I open the message. I turn to my husband and say, “Shit!” He says, “What?!” I say, “Shit, I’ve got a place at a conference in Fargo at the end of May.” He says, “What?!” This went on for some time. At this point is seems better to hand over to Melissa herself and her email to me:

Hey Lou it is great to see you here! Thank you for submitting to attend Misfit Conf: Fargo. I wanted to reach out to you because as we were sorting through and reviewing all the applications we received so far – yours really stuck out. Wow I am just blown away by your application and the courage that you are taking to make Misfit Conf Fargo a reality. As you said it is time to take the gloves off Lou! Needless to say we would love for you to come to Fargo! To confirm your spot at Misfit Conf please purchase your ticket by the end of the day next Tuesday.

No pressure then. Two days to work out if we could make this happen and if I could go – knowing that we didn’t have any money in the pot at You Can Hub to fund the ticket or flights…

I was gobsmacked. How had this happened? I wasn’t supposed to actually get a place, merely be unsuccessful in my application and then be able to access the recordings from the relative comfort of my own sofa. My husband and I talked it through over the weekend, and then I had a meeting of the You Can Check It Out Team on Monday. I presented them with what had happened and the aims of the conference. I told them I had worked out that if I got 30 people to each donate £50, I could do it – I could get to Fargo. They told me to go for it! And I got my first donor. And so, I was taking my first steps on my way to Fargo… and it was time for the fear to kick in!

So there you go – I’d thrown my hat into the ring for an off-the-wall conference in the middle of nowhere, and the You Can Hub team was now going to hold me accountable in raising funds to get to the conference and bring back some top-notch learning. In my next post, I’ll let you know how I ended up in a field full of cows in Cambridge wearing a cape, and what I learned about asking for help.

Excited to read the next step? Sign up for our mailing list to get a heads up when the next post is up – straight into your inbox!

**Update!** You can now read Part Two: Inviting People In by clicking here.

You can still make a donation to support our work by clicking here.

You can also listen to me talking about this on the social media show #TSMShow with Ann Hawkins and Eric Swain – and the great thing is my friend Martyn Sibley, whose nonchalant tweet led me to finding out about conference, features on the show too! Click the link!

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 5 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

Today, the scariness is in telling you the story. I dig deep into my most emotional part of my life at the moment. Nope, it’s not about venturing out in social entrepreneurialism, it’s about struggling to start a family. I tell you my story of so called ‘infertility’ with the aim to start a conversation. I reflect on hope and introduce you to the sweetest little girl name Hope.

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Finally, Danger Lou, thank you so much for the inspiration. This is my journey towards Danger Me

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 4 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

Today’s scary story is about play. Through the act of dressing up like a robot I learn to embrace my playful side and laugh as often as possible. Seriously, I still laugh every time I watch the end of this video. And, in true celebrate imperfections style, see if you can spot the cat tail in this video!

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Finally, Danger Lou, thank you so much for the inspiration. This is my journey towards Danger Me

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 2 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge. 

Today’s scary story involves investing in myself, hiring a coach, and owning up to my own emotions.

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOvpxTAve2Q

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Finally, Danger Lou, thank you so much for the inspiration. This is my journey towards Danger Me

Yesterday was my last day at my part time job. The job gave me both a structure to my week and a guaranteed income, both of which I have valued dearly. The company was great, the team was great and I learned a lot. Eventually, I realised that I was starting to use it as an excuse to not take action towards the life I want to live. So, thank you so much to my team at my past job and those at You Can for helping me get to the point I am at now. Jumping off the cliff into the unknown, leaping into the oh so scary world of believing in my skills, knowledge, and offer enough to generate my own income while doing things I love.

In order to celebrate this scary step, I have decided to embark on a 30 day scare the crap out of myself challenge.

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on! *Warning, the raw and real Mel does tend to say a few swear words here and there…and sometimes makes up words all together!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Finally, Danger Lou, thank you so much for the inspiration. This is my journey towards Danger Me.

Love,

Mel

Hi there! I’m back! Back from my whirlwind trip to Fargo, North Dakota, to meet with and learn from a merry band of Misfits all keen to make a dent in the Universe. “Warning: This is not a conference for normal people!”

In my first post making sense of what I’ve just experienced, I’ve been inspired by this post by fellow Misfit and speaker at the conference, Jason Sadler*. He writes about feeling lost after the conference, starting on a journey to find his passion. It’s a journey I started back in 2010 when I was put at risk of redundancy in a job I’d grown bored of. Five of us, all at risk of redundancy or looking for change, started meeting once a month, bringing and sharing food and asking big questions, like:

• “What am I really good at?”
• “What do I really love to do?”
• “What do I really hate to do?”
• “What am I going to do next?”

Cut to three years later, and back in March this year, our very own Mel made a presentation to the You Can Check It Out team. She was talking about her experience so far being a Director of this very organisation that we founded back in 2011, as a result of our early gatherings. She said,