Posts tagged resilience

Twenty days ago I wrote a post explaining why I was getting up earlier in response to Mel’s question, “Why would you want to do that?!” It’s incredible to think that I’m now on Day 27 of my 30 Day Sunrise Photo Challenge, with only three days to go. Twenty seven days, twenty five photos.

When I was only a week in, everything still felt pretty easy. I was really enjoying the novelty and I guess I was still in the honeymoon period. Then things got tougher – about eleven days in, I got sick. I caught a particularly nasty and fast-acting form of tonsillitis – my resistance is always lower in the Autumn and Winter months. 

This challenge was never about forcing it – it was about supporting my well-being, not detracting from it, so I made sure to take care of myself on the days that I was ill. So on some days, I took the photo from the warmth of my window before heading back to bed, and on two of the days when my temperature was raging I left the alarm off and didn’t make it out of bed at all.

It was tough to get back into the rhythm again. It was an interesting time because although my body was struggling to get out of bed, there was also this urge to be outside. A sense of what I was missing. At the same time thinking, I have to do this every day? I wanted to, but it also felt like a big commitment.

Today, it was absolutely chucking it down when I got out of bed. The last time it rained properly (Day Two) it didn’t look like rain when I left the house and I didn’t wear waterproofs. It was stunning, with the rain on the lens smudging the image and giving it an even softer focus. Then it also started raining on Day Twenty, and you can just about see it in the puddles in the foreground while the sun stakes its claim on the day. Both days, the beauty was the most obvious thing, the first thing, and the rain came second.

This morning, the rain came first. It was grey. Grey, grey, grey. I thought, well, it’s not going to be spectacular. Dark clouds everywhere. I set off with my hubby in the car. Here’s a couple of blurry shots to give you a sense of the blustery downpour:

We were soaked; it was kind of funny! Our waterproofs did us proud, and we got back in the car. We set off for home, and decided to take a detour and try a different location. As we arrived, the rain lessened and we set off for an explore. The paths were streams; it was less soggy on the common. We walked and talked and looked and pointed things out to each other. We saw a heron flying through the sky, saw him swoop down to land, hop over a fence and explore a pond, his head just poking up above the reeds, peeking around. Then taking off and flying around the corner. The cows looked at us curiously. One of them gave us the stinkeye. One of them licked hubby’s coat.

For much of the sunrise, the clouds were obscuring the sun, and the gaps for the light to come through were all in the western half of the sky. Eventually, the wind blew them around so that the sun could show its face. We walked through an avenue of trees, the sun streaming through all the intertwined twigs and the leaves transitioning from green to yellow. I took my chosen shot of the day:

I’ve been very lucky on this challenge I think, that it hasn’t rained more. On the three occasions that it has rained, I have realised that something very special happens. If the sun and the rain combine, they have more power than either one. These shots that I’ve taken where the colours of the sky are reflected in the river (Day Two) or the puddles (Day Twenty), or where the wetness of the rain makes the surface wood of a fence much more reflective (today) – these are the days that I love the most. I’m continuing to answer the question, “Why would you want to do that?!”

As at Day Eight, once I’m out, I still find it difficult to come home again. And I think that the thing about commitment is, once you make it, it becomes easier. Getting up at sunrise every single day makes it easier to get up the next day; while having a break makes it harder again. Committing to make a change, one change, and see it through for 30 days has changed other things too, and I will try to explore these in my next post. This wasn’t a challenge I was scared of or excited about, but it was a change I thought was impossible, or at the very least would be really hard. It felt dangerous, because I really didn’t think I would be able to do it. And that’s what Danger Lou’s all about, right?

The magic of this time of day has seeped into my bones and my life and I really think that it has changed me. Three more days to go. What will I do after that?

Check out the full set so far here. If you like what you see, I’d love it if you would consider supporting my 5k challenge.

Twenty days ago I wrote a post explaining why I was getting up earlier in response to Mel’s question, “Why would you want to do that?!” It’s incredible to think that I’m now on Day 27 of my 30 Day Sunrise Photo Challenge, with only three days to go. Twenty seven days, twenty five photos.

When I was only a week in, everything still felt pretty easy. I was really enjoying the novelty and I guess I was still in the honeymoon period. Then things got tougher – about eleven days in, I got sick. I caught a particularly nasty and fast-acting form of tonsillitis – my resistance is always lower in the Autumn and Winter months. 

This challenge was never about forcing it – it was about supporting my well-being, not detracting from it, so I made sure to take care of myself on the days that I was ill. So on some days, I took the photo from the warmth of my window before heading back to bed, and on two of the days when my temperature was raging I left the alarm off and didn’t make it out of bed at all.

It was tough to get back into the rhythm again. It was an interesting time because although my body was struggling to get out of bed, there was also this urge to be outside. A sense of what I was missing. At the same time thinking, I have to do this every day? I wanted to, but it also felt like a big commitment.

Today, it was absolutely chucking it down when I got out of bed. The last time it rained properly (Day Two) it didn’t look like rain when I left the house and I didn’t wear waterproofs. It was stunning, with the rain on the lens smudging the image and giving it an even softer focus. Then it also started raining on Day Twenty, and you can just about see it in the puddles in the foreground while the sun stakes its claim on the day. Both days, the beauty was the most obvious thing, the first thing, and the rain came second.

This morning, the rain came first. It was grey. Grey, grey, grey. I thought, well, it’s not going to be spectacular. Dark clouds everywhere. I set off with my hubby in the car. Here’s a couple of blurry shots to give you a sense of the blustery downpour:

We were soaked; it was kind of funny! Our waterproofs did us proud, and we got back in the car. We set off for home, and decided to take a detour and try a different location. As we arrived, the rain lessened and we set off for an explore. The paths were streams; it was less soggy on the common. We walked and talked and looked and pointed things out to each other. We saw a heron flying through the sky, saw him swoop down to land, hop over a fence and explore a pond, his head just poking up above the reeds, peeking around. Then taking off and flying around the corner. The cows looked at us curiously. One of them gave us the stinkeye. One of them licked hubby’s coat.

For much of the sunrise, the clouds were obscuring the sun, and the gaps for the light to come through were all in the western half of the sky. Eventually, the wind blew them around so that the sun could show its face. We walked through an avenue of trees, the sun streaming through all the intertwined twigs and the leaves transitioning from green to yellow. I took my chosen shot of the day:

I’ve been very lucky on this challenge I think, that it hasn’t rained more. On the three occasions that it has rained, I have realised that something very special happens. If the sun and the rain combine, they have more power than either one. These shots that I’ve taken where the colours of the sky are reflected in the river (Day Two) or the puddles (Day Twenty), or where the wetness of the rain makes the surface wood of a fence much more reflective (today) – these are the days that I love the most. I’m continuing to answer the question, “Why would you want to do that?!”

As at Day Eight, once I’m out, I still find it difficult to come home again. And I think that the thing about commitment is, once you make it, it becomes easier. Getting up at sunrise every single day makes it easier to get up the next day; while having a break makes it harder again. Committing to make a change, one change, and see it through for 30 days has changed other things too, and I will try to explore these in my next post. This wasn’t a challenge I was scared of or excited about, but it was a change I thought was impossible, or at the very least would be really hard. It felt dangerous, because I really didn’t think I would be able to do it. And that’s what Danger Lou’s all about, right?

The magic of this time of day has seeped into my bones and my life and I really think that it has changed me. Three more days to go. What will I do after that?

Check out the full set so far here. If you like what you see, I’d love it if you would consider supporting my 5k challenge.

Since Danger Lou first made her tentative steps on screen, many of you have been talking to me about the kinds of risks that you take every day, and particularly the things that scare you. There’s lots of things that we find scary: flying is a common one, sharks; speaking on a stage in front of people. Some fears are rational: things like sharks, heights, snakes – because they’re based, on some level, on keeping us alive. Sharks are dangerous – you know, sharp teeth and all that. Snakes can be poisonous. Heights – well, there’s always the possibility of falling.

Somewhere along the line, fears that help us to stay alive became fears that help us to stay safe. What does staying safe mean to you? Not risking letting people down? Not risking having what it takes? Not risking saying what you think? Fear becomes something that, instead of keeping us alive, is keeping us from living.

Chris Brogan tells us that the opposite of fear is not bravery, or courage. “The opposite of fear is surrender. The opposite of fear is giving up. The opposite of fear is not really taking the swing.”

Fear is personal. For me, fear is being willing to go on video dressed in a superhero costume you made yourself. Fear is committing to raise the funds to make it to a tiny conference in the middle of nowhere that no one has ever heard of, and asking people to believe in what will come next. Fear is then travelling on my own to the States for the first time. And it is also turning up to the gym for the first time back in January – and then keeping on turning up at the gym, even if I have weeks where I can’t make it, or a session that feels extra difficult. After I talked to Ann Hawkins on The Social Media Show about travelling to Fargo, she wondered if I was scared – of course I was. Danger Lou is all about being scared, and holding your hand up to say so.

For Mel, fear is being willing to go on stage in front of 2800 people dressed as a cardboard robot with just two days notice – and taking your robot head off in front of all those people so that they can see the person behind the box. And it is also just picking up the phone to query something.

What are the risks that you take, every day, every week? What is it that helps you to keep trying? When was the last time you were even just a little bit scared, perhaps about something that you think other people find really easy? And, what are the swings that you don’t take, where the risks seem too high? Where in your life do you give up?

In my next post I’ll be exploring three ways to think about fear that might be useful. Make sure you don’t miss out, and sign up here.

You might also be interested in joining Danger Lou in Cambridge at the end of this month: click here.

I’d love to hear from you! Leave your response below.

If you’re in Cambridge at the end of August, you’re up for a treat. You can join in with the very first of the Danger You Challenge Series!

Join Danger Lou!

August 27th 2013 – 6pm to 8pm

If you’ve watched the movie and you’re inspired to buy tickets right away:

This workshop is for you if:

• You want to build your confidence in small steps
• You want to create good habits
• You want to share the experience of taking on challenges with others, in a supportive group
• You want to show up and speak up – in different aspects of your life
• You want to be confident to contribute

You will:

• Take the first step and do something challenging (with people there to hold your hand)
• Develop a simple structure to help you show up more confidently
• Get awesome feedback from the community in the room with you on the spot
• Boost your confidence
• Take away real usable strategies for overcoming fear next time

**UPDATED DETAILS FOR INTRIGUED ADVENTURERS**

We can now reveal that this first challenge will be a speaking challenge. So if you aren’t confident meeting new people, if you don’t like picking up the phone, if you keep quiet in meetings because you think everyone knows better, if you don’t like being put on the spot or starting a conversation – then this is the workshop for you!

You will:

• Take the first step in speaking in front of others
• Practice in a supportive environment
• Identify a clear strategy to help you get talking, sooner

You will be working with two experienced facilitators including Danger Lou herself.

Spaces are limited. The session is for only 10 people so that you have 1:5 attention and get the most out of the session.

All you need to bring is yourself, and some fear and excitement!

Are you an Intrepid Explorer?

Until August 6th, only Intrepid Explorer tickets are available. This means that if you sign up now, you’ll get the best value AND an awesome title. Who doesn’t want to be an Intrepid Explorer? If you wait until after 5pm (UK time) on August 6th, you’ll miss out on that title. Tickets for Intrepid Explorers are now closed.

Are you an Intrigued Adventurer?

Hey there, adventurer. Up until now, you’ve been watching from the sidelines, keeping an eye on development. You’ve been intrigued! You want a piece of the action but, well, you didn’t want to be first. Well, good new! You don’t have to be! The Intrepid Explorers have leapt in, and now the way is clear for you. Until August 13th, 5pm (UK time), only Intrigued Adventurer tickets are available. If you weren’t ready to jump in as an Intrepid Explorer and you needed more information, now’s your chance!

Ready to jump in? Intrigued adventurer step this way!

We can’t wait to see you!

We’ll be releasing more information as the event gets closer – but if you wait for more information, the price rises. So what will it be? Are you an intrepid explorer, intrigued adventurer, inspired follower, or last minute lemming?

If you’re not ready to jump in just yet, sign up for the latest Danger You updates below. This also works if you’re not in Cambridge, UK and you’d like to hear about online opportunities to get more dangerous.

Why Portland? Why the World Domination Summit?

DangerLou and her Nemesis – The Robot of Mediocrity

#DangerLou is in Portland because 10 months ago, I took a risk. I knew that I’d seen the awesomeness that is Chris Brogan giving the best speech he ever gave from last year’s conference on vimeo.

I know that it is the conference to get to if we want to kick conformity’s ass and meet people trying to find different ways of living and earning.

I didn’t know that I definitely had the money to go. I did know that it would be very competitive to get tickets. So, I took a risk. I waited for the day and time to apply for a ticket and made myself a deal. If I put my name in the registration page and got a ticket, then I would find a way to get there. If I didn’t, I would be sure to catch up online.

I took a risk and the Universe decided I got a ticket; now, here I am in Portland. I inspired my co-conspirator Mel to take a risk too. So here we are, ready to meet you.

So if you are also in Portland, come and find us. Today, Friday, you may even spot Danger Lou in her cape alongside her nemesis, the robot of mediocrity. And if you are wondering what this Danger Lou thing is about – “Sure, it’s fun but what’s the point?” Then check out the Danger Lou trailer here and remember these three questions and prompts that Danger Lou is keen for everyone to explore and answer:

1. Do something small that both scares and excites you every day
2. Every superhero needs sidekicks
3. Strike a pose – copied from your favourite superhero – it will help you feel like a superhero too*
4. Define your impossible – what are you stopping yourself from even starting?
5. Name your nemesis – what’s holding you back?

#DangerLou is about celebrating small risks, being playful and helping each other achieve our impossible Danger Lou is my not-so-secret identity – what’s yours?

What would happen if you answered the questions above? That’s why I’m in Portland. To help myself answer these questions while prompting you to answer them for yourself too. Meeting a whole ton of people who are revealing their superhero powers. And if you need a team of sidekicks, you can join the You Can community and we’ll do our best to keep you laughing and living and taking risks every day.

*Check out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on the value of power poses and how they can help you.

So let me know – what’s your secret identity? I’d love to hear it, in the comments below…

Inviting People In

In Part One, you found out how I ended up with a ticket to a tiny conference about making a huge dent in the Universe, Misfit Conf. I had the go ahead from my team here at You Can to raise the funds to get to the conference and bring back all that amazing learning to help our community. Now I just had to… do it!

In my Misfit application, I talked about taking the gloves off and wanting to kick ass and be Danger Lou. At this point though, I really didn’t feel very confident about it. I wrote a post; note the question mark in the Danger Lou badge I designed in the picture.

There’s a funny thing about being scared. It makes us totally withdraw – that fight or flight response can be turned inward, so that we flee from the world, and fight ourselves. So I named the fear, and invited people in.

First, I asked the You Can Hub team for help to raise the funds. As soon as I asked them to help with ideas, first of all they wanted in. They wanted to help. And they said, “It’s got to be Danger Lou.” It had to involve a costume. And so, Danger Lou went from being a concept in an application form to a real character with a costume. Then Ruth’s fruit and veg box became my nemesis, the Robot of Mediocrity and the rest, as they say, is on youtube.

You might be thinking, it’s ok for you, Lou. You have a team of people around you ready and waiting to help – they already know you! What about me? Well, in the next stage of fear, I needed to ask for help from people I hadn’t met yet.

This was the first time we’ve invited donations at The You Can Hub. I was kind of blown away with the response; very quickly we had three quarters of the money I needed. Flights and accommodation were booked. This was actually happening. Was Danger Lou scared? Of course I was! I’d never been to the States before; never travelled on my own before. It was starting to freak me out. So, I had another thought – invite people in. And I recorded it.

I posted in the conference group. And it turned out there was someone there waiting for me to ask.

There was someone else on the same flight.

I met with Deborah at Heathrow; we shared breakfast and went to the boarding gate together, then met up again in Chicago. And it turned out my challenges weren’t done because a huge thunderstorm hit Chicago just as we were due to make our connection to Fargo. Our flight was cancelled and we had to stay overnight. Putting that post in the conference group was the best decision I ever made; it meant that I had someone to stay with and share the evening with during our unscheduled overnight in Chicago. And now, I’ve made a friend for life.

Here’s my challenge for you:

• What is scaring you at the moment? What are you struggling with?
• Who can you invite in?

There are a few key pointers that help when you’re making the invite:

1. Be open and friendly
2. Be specific about what you’re inviting the person to – give details
3. Be clear about who you’re looking for
4. Be clear about who you are and why you’re asking

Let me know how you get on! In my next post, the final one in this series, I’ll be sharing how I think the conference changed me!

Excited to read the next step? Sign up for our mailing list to get a heads up when the next post is up – straight into your inbox!

You can make a donation to support our work by clicking here.

You can also listen to me talking about Danger Lou on the social media show #TSMShow with Ann Hawkins and Eric Swain – and the great thing is my friend Martyn Sibley, whose nonchalant tweet led me to finding out about conference, features on the show too! Click the link!

Today we were due to have our first You Can Check It Out meeting of 2013; however, it snowed. And snowed and snowed and snowed. Half of our team were snowed in so we decided to postpone today’s meeting. I thought this was a great opportunity to review our last meeting here, as we talked about some pretty juicy stuff.

We started with a word. “Impossible.” What does it mean? We found this really hard at first; we could think of films like Mission Impossible and The Hulk!

An example helped. “What if I told you I didn’t have any legs?” Straight away Tracy said, “It would be impossible, you wouldn’t be able to walk.” “What if I told you I was going to climb a mountain, on my hands?” “Impossible!”

Then ideas started to flow. “I find it really hard to say no to take-aways.” “I find it really hard to lose weight.” “I find it really hard to communicate with people.” “… to make healthy choices…” “…to go to the shops…” We found that everyone’s impossible is different.

We soon realised that even though there were things we think of as really hard, there were also examples of us doing these things. “I did a presentation.” “I’ve lost weight.” “I went out to the shops for the first time the other week!” We started to talk about what had made these things possible, and we came up with the list. I thought it would be great to share this learning with you!

How to Make the Impossible Possible:

• Break it down into smaller pieces – little steps are easier!
• Take your time
• Make sure that you don’t feel under any pressure
• Plan a reward at the end – something you really enjoy and that you find easy
• Trust that it gets easier over time
• Keep practicing! Keep trying!

We also felt that having someone else helps…

• For reassurance
• Someone with you who believes in you
• Someone with you who shares your interest – or bring people in who share the same interest!
• Someone who has done it before – who can show you the smaller steps

At the end of the session, we watched this film: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-18508243

What do you think of the film? Are there any examples you notice from our list? What are the ways that you help yourself, when you’re working on something that feels hard or impossible?

My thank you letter to you

When was the last time you wrote a hand written letter to someone? The last time you wrote a love letter? Truly thanked someone for the role that they have played in your life? This week we present you with a challenge. In fact, one of our favourite bloggers, Scott Dinsmore over at Live Your Legend presents you with a challenge. He calls it, ‘The Gratitude Challenge’. It’s Thanksgiving over in America, and while not everyone in the world celebrates it, the idea of thanking people couldn’t fit better with You Can’s core belief that surrounding yourself with incredible, supportive people makes living life your way a heck of a lot easier.

So, are you in? 

How many hand written notes of thanks can you write in one week?

Head on over to the Live Your Legend blog, check out the TED video he recommends on hand written letters, join in their discussion, and be inspired by how many notes others are writing by looking at the comments. And do tell us what you are up to and how many notes you have challenged yourself to write this week by commenting below.

Me? I will write 5 notes this week, plus the one to all of you above.

My thank you letter to you

When was the last time you wrote a hand written letter to someone? The last time you wrote a love letter? Truly thanked someone for the role that they have played in your life? This week we present you with a challenge. In fact, one of our favourite bloggers, Scott Dinsmore over at Live Your Legend presents you with a challenge. He calls it, ‘The Gratitude Challenge’. It’s Thanksgiving over in America, and while not everyone in the world celebrates it, the idea of thanking people couldn’t fit better with You Can’s core belief that surrounding yourself with incredible, supportive people makes living life your way a heck of a lot easier.

So, are you in? 

How many hand written notes of thanks can you write in one week?

Head on over to the Live Your Legend blog, check out the TED video he recommends on hand written letters, join in their discussion, and be inspired by how many notes others are writing by looking at the comments. And do tell us what you are up to and how many notes you have challenged yourself to write this week by commenting below.

Me? I will write 5 notes this week, plus the one to all of you above.

Are you Old School Resilient…

• Maintain privacy at all times
• Don’t accept help, and certainly don’t ask for it
• Stay unemotional at all costs
• Be resolute
• Show self-restraint