Old School vs. New School
Are you Old School Resilient…Get your head down, get on with it, grin and bear it, keep calm and carry on… Sound familiar?
These are all sayings synonymous with the old form of resilience.
A lot of the factors that go along with this are embodied by the British stiff upper lip:
- Maintain privacy at all times
- Don’t accept help, and certainly don’t ask for it
- Stay unemotional at all costs
- Be resolute
- Show self-restraint
Or are you New School Resilient?
- Ask for help, and ask for it well
- Have a support group of people to go to for different types of help
- Communicate
- Problem solve
- Make plans and make them happen
- Cultivate a positive view of yourself, and develop your own confidence
- Keep trying to make sense of your own emotions
Which one are you? Which one do you want to be?
Lou Shackleton
Change-maker in Chief
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It is interesting. I think when yogeunr I was compelled to succeed in spite of the poor hand dealt me. That was success in work, school and building a home that my children could be proud of. However, I think that was only outward resilience and a good life’ in the sense that everyone would see that in spite of the difficult beginnings I was able to create success in my life. However, now I think of resilience quite differently in terms of inward resilience and being able to identify and live with good people who contribute to an inner good life, better known as happiness. I am a much happier person now and that feels much more like true resilience than a successful outer life ever did.Do the studies on resilience differentiate between inner & out life resilience?
Hi Ayder!
Thank you for your comment. I think that it’s a really interesting point – how as we age, we place more emphasis on internal sources of recognition and acknowledgement, and internal symbols of success, rather than external ones. When we are young we look outwardly for recognition, as if we have some kind of audience, then when we get older we realise that we are the only audience that really matters.
This isn’t something I have read about in relation to resilience specifically; however, I think it is probably related to people feeling in control of their choices and lives. You can read more about resilience here in this publication from the Young Foundation called Grit – it has a focus on resilience and young people:
http://youngfoundation.org/publications/grit-the-skills-for-success-and-how-they-are-grown/
These certainly backs up your comment about having people around you to support you being important; having people we can draw on for support and advice is very important in our resilience.
Thanks again!