Hi there! I’m back! Back from my whirlwind trip to Fargo, North Dakota, to meet with and learn from a merry band of Misfits all keen to make a dent in the Universe. “Warning: This is not a conference for normal people!”
In my first post making sense of what I’ve just experienced, I’ve been inspired by this post by fellow Misfit and speaker at the conference, Jason Sadler*. He writes about feeling lost after the conference, starting on a journey to find his passion. It’s a journey I started back in 2010 when I was put at risk of redundancy in a job I’d grown bored of. Five of us, all at risk of redundancy or looking for change, started meeting once a month, bringing and sharing food and asking big questions, like:
“What am I really good at?”
“What do I really love to do?”
“What do I really hate to do?”
“What am I going to do next?”
Cut to three years later, and back in March this year, our very own Mel made a presentation to the You Can Check It Out team. She was talking about her experience so far being a Director of this very organisation that we founded back in 2011, as a result of our early gatherings. She said,
“Sometimes in life, I feel a little lost. The world stops making sense. I am overwhelmed with emotions – frustration, drive, confusion, passion, anger, love, fear, self doubt, excitement – all at the same time! It’s like a big explosion in my head! Every way I turn there seems to be a big brick wall blocking my way. Everyone I talk to looks at me with pitying eyes. “This is just the way it is Mel, get used to it” but I don’t believe it, there must be another way. So I keep looking, searching, wandering, I’m scared and alone.”
Mel gave us an awesome visual metaphor – the maze. In life, it can seem like we’re constantly looking for the exit door, the way out, searching for “that thing” that we can’t yet name. When I look back over the last 2 – 3 years, I’ve spent so much of it feeling lost. Maybe you’re expecting me to say, “So I can help you – I can help you find your way out of the maze, and move from feeling lost to found. Follow our twelve step programme! And look, here I am on the other side of the maze wall, waving to you and showing you the exit door!” But that isn’t how this particular story ends. There’s no limited offer to get the programme reduced from $97 down to $49 until midnight tonight.
The fact is, I’m still in the maze. I don’t have it all figured out. And when I watched Mel’s presentation, I had a realisation. What if the maze is all there is? What’s so bad about that? And if the maze is all there is, what would I do? Would I spend my whole time searching frantically for the exit? Would I just give up and quit – sit around twiddling my thumbs? Or maybe, neither of those things – instead, looked around, explore and say, “How can I make this bit of the maze better?” In her presentation, Mel goes on to talk about the people that she’s found who are also looking, searching, wandering – and Jason comes to this conclusion at the end of his post too, “Let’s not do this alone, let’s find out passions together.”
The amazing thing about being part of the You Can Hub and travelling to events like Misfit Conf is exactly this – finding other people who are also in the maze. The maze of trying and doing and learning, moving towards doing more of what they love, making a difference in the world, and earning a living along the way. And my major realisation is this – the maze is where the learning is. Do I really want to be out of the maze – with it all figured out? Wouldn’t that be kind of boring? So here I am – actually able to go, “Yay, I’m lost!” – revelling in the feeling, knowing that it means I’m learning and stretching and on a path to something that has not yet been named. So, Jason, this is for you. Welcome to the maze! Grab a (ginger) beer! Find your five people to share in the adventure – invite them in too!
Here’s to the maze explorers. We don’t have all the answers. There is no maze map. We’re charting our own course, making it up as we go along, learning wherever we can, making a difference where we can. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The amazing portrait of Lou looking a little lost is by Photographer and Fellow Misfit Israel Smith: http://www.facebook.com/isphotographers He took it shortly after Lou arrived in Fargo after a challenging journey.
*Jason Sadler has changed his name to Jason Headsetsdotcom for 2013. You can read more about this here: https://buymylastname.com/
Two weeks today, I will be on a flight to Fargo, North Dakota, to attend Misfits Conference. I can’t wait! It will be my first long haul flight, and my first time in the States. So I thought I’d tap into the superhero travellers amongst you and ask you for your top travel tips!
What’s your top tip for a long haul flight?
What helps you with jet lag?
What do you wish someone had told you before your first long distance trip?
What’s the most important thing I need to know that will help things go smoothly when I land in the States?
What’s your must-have long distance travel item?
As I’ll have some free time before my flight back from the conference, if you have some suggestions of things to do and see in Fargo, I’d love to hear them! Can’t wait to see your suggestions in the comments!
Last week we celebrated our 2nd birthday – and we’ll be enjoying a drink tonight at our pub social, providing us with a “cheers!” moment! It also seems like a good time to look back – so here’s a video from December 2011 with Lou telling the story so far for our team day…
Enjoy! And tell us what you think of Lou’s speed drawing talents 😉
On the eve of the launch of the Danger Lou trailer, it seems appropriate to talk about fear. I feel like I’m at the start of something and I don’t know where it will lead me. Putting Danger Lou out there and committing to taking more risks in my life and work. Committing to kicking ass and holding myself accountable, taking the gloves off… scary stuff! Hello inner chicken…
What does fear feel like? I find it pretty difficult to describe my emotions. I was discussing this with Ruth from You Can on Monday – that with big emotions, it’s just so difficult to find the words! Thankfully, I found the words I needed from someone else. Karen McMillan, Retreat Muse, and I had a conversation via email about flying by the seat of your pants, which she calls…
“Scary fabulous!”
This is such a perfect phrase! Right now, I feel like I’m at the start of something amazing. I’m doing a lot of new stuff lately; getting fit and learning to pitch and trying out a comedy workshop (more on these experiments later). And there’s more new stuff coming:
Flying on my own for the first time
Going to America for the first time
Making the most of Misfit Conf where I’ll be at a tiny conference about making a huge dent in the Universe (warning – this is not a conference for normal people)
What I feel is a mix of excitement and apprehension. It’s like being a child in the run up to Christmas. Except in this version of Christmas, the presents will be so much better than material things like a Barbie house or an iPad or a Smurf doll or a Rubix Cube – they will be gifts of learning and skills and things I can’t even imagine right now. However, lurking in the background there is also a chance that when it comes to Christmas day, Santa Claus might turn out to be the Big Bad Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood… Scary fabulous!
Karen explained some more:
“Scary fabulous came to me a year or two ago while sharing with my then MasterMind circle (we’d been together 3 years and I was comfy). Now I still say it, and when things get really scary, remind myself, “It’s OK. Just lean more into the fabulous!”
Lean more into the fabulous.
I hope I’m going to remember this in the coming months, embracing Danger Lou, flying by the seat of my pants. What makes you feel scared? How do you put it into words? What do you do that helps?
One of the things that I have been struggling with is liking myself, and being kind to myself. It’s a topic I first introduced here and I don’t feel I’ve finished exploring it yet. Then I came across this recent campaign by Dove; the video started going the rounds last week and has now racked up over 21.5 million watches (accurate at the time of writing). If you haven’t seen it, the first thing to do is take a look and take a moment to register your own reaction:
What do you think?
Seemingly there has been a mixed reaction to the campaign; the comment thread on the Dove site for the campaign makes interesting reading. There’s also a version with men instead of women:
OK – I tricked you a little with that one – it definitely made me giggle!
Behind the original version and the parody, there is actually a serious point. Research shows that young women tend to think of themselves as worse-looking than they really are, while young men tend to think of themselves as better looking than they really are (though maybe not to the extent shown in the parody).
This is not a new study; it goes all the way back to 2003 (see the Guardian link below for the full details) and actually we replicated the results in my Psychology class during my degree. That’s 10 years ago. The question is, has anything really changed since then? I’m still working out how to like myself (most days) and feel confident in me as a whole person, including all the different dimensions of me and the complexity that brings. I do find that Simon’s words still help me when I’m having a bad day – “It’s not about me, it’s about us.”
As the campaign for Misfit Fargo begins, I am already taking the gloves off, talking to more people about what we’re doing and how this campaign fits in, and holding myself more accountable. I had a great conversation with Adelina from Presenting Good Practice who wanted to know more about what I will learn at the Conference, so I thought I’d share my reflections of my response. Danger Lou would definitely not be afraid to put her thoughts on tape. Cue VT…
Here’s what I committed to in my successful application:
Tell us a little about yourself
Three years ago, five of us, all either at risk of redundancy or just wanting a change, wanting something different, started to come together once a month over a shared meal. We called ourselves the Change the World Gang. Ambitious, hey?
We started with each other, supporting each other through this time of transition. A few months later, I’d started a new job and then almost immediately quit and had really bad whiplash from a car accident. Since then, I’ve been on an incredible journey. I co-founded this not-for-profit, The You Can Hub, with fellow Change the Worlders. Together, we have helped over 300 people in Cambridgeshire to cycle, many of whom thought they couldn’t, or hadn’t cycled for a very long time. It started Small, with one person – Aaran, who couldn’t cycle a two wheeled bike.
I was pretty proud of what we’d achieved. Then in October my dad was diagnosed with brain tumours. He died seven months later, two days before I turned 30. It totally shifted my perspective. What I’ve done so far seems mediocre. This coming May, it will be the one year anniversary of my dad’s death. I will turn 31. I want to celebrate by kicking ass.
What do you hope to get from Misfit Conf: Fargo?
I want to reveal my inner superhero – Danger Lou. We’ve made a little dink in the Universe. It’s time to look at the dink and see how it could become a dent. Enterprise in the UK is obsessed with scale. I don’t want to “scale up” what we’ve been doing at You Can. I want to look at what is Small about what we’ve done so far, and see where to go from here. I want to push past the shame and celebrate, get more confident in my voice and not censor myself… I want to take the gloves off! I want to return to Cambridge ready to start a (Small) revolution. I know that I’m making choices that are safe right now. I acknowledge the value in being aware of that. I want to come back from Fargo dangerous, and contagious.
The real question is – do you want to experience Contagious Danger? Catch the Danger Virus yourself? What would your dangerous alter ego be capable of?
Three years ago, we started something amazing with a small group of incredible people. There were five of us, all either at risk of redundancy, wanting a change, wanting something different. So, we came together once a month over a shared meal and called ourselves the Change the World Gang. We had big ambitions but we didn’t start with the world. We started small, with each other – supporting each other through a time of transition. Since then, we co-founded this very out of the ordinary not-for-profit.
If you know The You Can Hub, you know that we’re not your usual not-for-profit. That last year our first birthday involved making superhero capes. That most of us are overly fond of ginger beer, we share our secrets and our meetings often involve talk of The Hulk and Mission Impossible. That our registered address is the local community pub where the villagers came together to save it from closure and are now the shareholders – and where my husband and I held the music festival part of our wedding last year (and got shares in the pub as a wedding gift). You’ll know that we have passion and purpose and that we’re working out how to live a life we love while helping you figure it out too. That we include people who are excluded elsewhere and emphasize the power of community, connections and ‘doing’ together. That we look for the impossible and work out how to make it possible.
This Spring, I have been offered an incredible opportunity. I have been invited to join 29 other people who think like we do and to gain a whole host of new knowledge and skills at the Misfits Conference in Fargo. It’s ‘a tiny conference about making a huge dent in the universe’. With topics like The Economics of Crazy and Writing Your Own Revolution, I’m fairly sure I’m going to come back a changed person – revealing my inner super hero, Danger Lou. Check out my successful application here: Lou Misfits Conf Application
This is where I get to be vulnerable. To make it there, I need your help. This is my impossible – I can’t do it without you. Think of it like enabling a huge amount of inspiration that will come back to you through post-event blog and video posts, in person socials and so much more.
Will you help me to reveal my inner superhero, and come back from Fargo dangerous and contagious? If you read my application, you’ll know that 30 seems to be a pretty important number to me right now. So I’m looking for 30 people to back this Misfit-Adventure by donating just £50. I want to be able to know you all by name and either physically / virtually give you a hand shake.
Will you be one of the thirty? Contact us as soon as possible if you want to be one of the 30 – use our contact form (scroll down) and put “Hell yeah Danger Lou!” at the start of your comment or tweet us @youcanhub with the hashtags #dangerlou #imin. I can’t wait to hear from you! Check out the full low down on the Misfit Conference here: http://aj-leon.com/misfit-conf/ Oh, and thanks to Danger Mouse for the inspiration! Watch out for more posts from me on revealing my inner super hero coming soon…
What would it mean to reveal your inner super hero?
**Update** There is now a donation link available here for you to make your donation directly. And if you’re a UK taxpayer, you have the added benefit of Giftaid! Click the button… and make sure to include the message “Hell Yeah Danger Lou” with your donation!
The first step to meeting the challenge of change is to start liking yourself. To do that, stop thinking in terms of “you”, and start thinking in terms of “us”. Together we’re strong, apart we’re weak.
– Simon Weston – pictured at the end of the video
I find that quote amazing in and of itself. I also find that quote amazing because when we explored the meaning of “impossible” in our You Can Check It Out team meeting, this same theme came up.
Having someone else helps. Someone to reassure you. Someone who shares your interest. Maybe someone who’s trying to do what you’re doing too, and exploring similar goals. Maybe someone who’s done it before and can show you some of the smaller steps.
When we think about “Us,” everything seems easier. So how about it. Fancy joining us?
Note: I got to hear Simon speak because I’m currently being seconded to the Realife Trust for a Vodafone World of Difference placement – which you can keep up to date with here: Vodafone World of Difference.
About a month ago, we posted a thought. An idea. Well, a question, really – are you good for something? There was a great piece on Radio 4 today about hacks and what they can achieve (scroll to 2 hours, 20 minutes in) and this seemed like a timely prompt for an update!
We’ve already teamed up with a web developer and a usability designer who are interested in helping to co-organise a Good for Nothing here in Cambridge and we’ll be meeting up over the next few weeks to start to make a plan of how it will work. We’re still looking for a co-organiser who specialises in Design and / or Communications. You can see the full job description and details in the previous post. If this is you, then – what are you waiting for?! Please get in touch on twitter and think about coming along to meet some of us at our social in March. If you know someone who fits the bill, please gift this information to them!
We’ve also had the first brave peeps sign up to express their interest in taking part in some hacks. Are you ready to join them? If so, sign up to this mailing list and you’ll get the latest info as and when we get it:
Are you a creator, tinkerer, or do-er of some sort? Do you like ideas and having fun? Are you well-connected in your area and do you know how to reach out to different networks? Are you ok with blagging stuff and do you like getting things done?
If so, You Can Hub needs you!
What are you on about?
We’re looking for potential co-organisers of a Cambridge group of Good for Nothing-ers – smart folk who would love to get the creative and tech communities of Cambridge collaborating for social good. Cambridge is a rich source of creative and tech types as evidenced by the sheer number of networking groups on these topics alone – which I’m sure I don’t need to tell you, as you probably go to most of them! We think it’s time these groups combined forces with the social innovators and change makers of Cambridge to get stuff done. Good for Nothing brings together creatives, tech experts and social innovators to collaborate on challenges with social goals. Challenges have clear specific outcomes, such as a web interface of video that supports a specific campaign that the social innovator is working on e.g. putting together a video that communicates the idea, such as the video that was made for DoNation, or putting together materials that will attract more corporate partnership for Only Connect at Future Youth.
Good for Nothing put it like this:
Good for Nothing is a community of thinkers, do-ers, makers and tinkerers applying their skills and energy to accelerate the work of cause-led innovators and change makers; it’s about diverse groups of people collaborating together, working in new, faster, fun and better ways by supporting ideas and people that are leading the way to what a flourishing 21st century society might look like.
If you still need convincing, here’s a little movie that explains a bit more:
Right, I’m on board. Who are you looking for?
We need at least three co-organisers in total:
someone with strengths in coding and tech
someone with strengths in design and communications
someone with strengths in social innovation and sustainability
One of those sounds like me…What do you want me to do?
If you’re interested in getting involved and you want to know more, come along to the You Can Hub Pub Social on 12th February. It will be an opportunity to meet everyone interested and chat through the idea and next steps some more. We can’t wait to see you there!
I’m interested in the idea but I don’t want to co-organise. Let me know when you’ve got a challenge ready and I can just rock up and do my thing.
No problem! Sign up to this mailing list and you’ll get the latest info as and when we get it.
