Posts tagged courage

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 26 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

The You Can Hub is a business and with that, we need to generate an income. Recently, I have been reflecting on how I am and am not comfortable doing this. What sales I like and the types that I don’t like. And in this, I realised that I have been avoiding selling to businesses….and that’s silly. It’s a confidence thing. So, here’s me committing to creating an offer for corporates and pitching it. What it will be is to be determined shortly based on some ideas from over the years but the key thing is, it will happen, it will be based on need and our skills, and it will be incredible.

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Since Danger Lou first made her tentative steps on screen, many of you have been talking to me about the kinds of risks that you take every day, and particularly the things that scare you. There’s lots of things that we find scary: flying is a common one, sharks; speaking on a stage in front of people. Some fears are rational: things like sharks, heights, snakes – because they’re based, on some level, on keeping us alive. Sharks are dangerous – you know, sharp teeth and all that. Snakes can be poisonous. Heights – well, there’s always the possibility of falling.

Somewhere along the line, fears that help us to stay alive became fears that help us to stay safe. What does staying safe mean to you? Not risking letting people down? Not risking having what it takes? Not risking saying what you think? Fear becomes something that, instead of keeping us alive, is keeping us from living.

Chris Brogan tells us that the opposite of fear is not bravery, or courage. “The opposite of fear is surrender. The opposite of fear is giving up. The opposite of fear is not really taking the swing.”

Fear is personal. For me, fear is being willing to go on video dressed in a superhero costume you made yourself. Fear is committing to raise the funds to make it to a tiny conference in the middle of nowhere that no one has ever heard of, and asking people to believe in what will come next. Fear is then travelling on my own to the States for the first time. And it is also turning up to the gym for the first time back in January – and then keeping on turning up at the gym, even if I have weeks where I can’t make it, or a session that feels extra difficult. After I talked to Ann Hawkins on The Social Media Show about travelling to Fargo, she wondered if I was scared – of course I was. Danger Lou is all about being scared, and holding your hand up to say so.

For Mel, fear is being willing to go on stage in front of 2800 people dressed as a cardboard robot with just two days notice – and taking your robot head off in front of all those people so that they can see the person behind the box. And it is also just picking up the phone to query something.

What are the risks that you take, every day, every week? What is it that helps you to keep trying? When was the last time you were even just a little bit scared, perhaps about something that you think other people find really easy? And, what are the swings that you don’t take, where the risks seem too high? Where in your life do you give up?

In my next post I’ll be exploring three ways to think about fear that might be useful. Make sure you don’t miss out, and sign up here.

You might also be interested in joining Danger Lou in Cambridge at the end of this month: click here.

I’d love to hear from you! Leave your response below.

If you’re in Cambridge at the end of August, you’re up for a treat. You can join in with the very first of the Danger You Challenge Series!

Join Danger Lou!

August 27th 2013 – 6pm to 8pm

If you’ve watched the movie and you’re inspired to buy tickets right away:

This workshop is for you if:

• You want to build your confidence in small steps
• You want to create good habits
• You want to share the experience of taking on challenges with others, in a supportive group
• You want to show up and speak up – in different aspects of your life
• You want to be confident to contribute

You will:

• Take the first step and do something challenging (with people there to hold your hand)
• Develop a simple structure to help you show up more confidently
• Get awesome feedback from the community in the room with you on the spot
• Boost your confidence
• Take away real usable strategies for overcoming fear next time

**UPDATED DETAILS FOR INTRIGUED ADVENTURERS**

We can now reveal that this first challenge will be a speaking challenge. So if you aren’t confident meeting new people, if you don’t like picking up the phone, if you keep quiet in meetings because you think everyone knows better, if you don’t like being put on the spot or starting a conversation – then this is the workshop for you!

You will:

• Take the first step in speaking in front of others
• Practice in a supportive environment
• Identify a clear strategy to help you get talking, sooner

You will be working with two experienced facilitators including Danger Lou herself.

Spaces are limited. The session is for only 10 people so that you have 1:5 attention and get the most out of the session.

All you need to bring is yourself, and some fear and excitement!

Are you an Intrepid Explorer?

Until August 6th, only Intrepid Explorer tickets are available. This means that if you sign up now, you’ll get the best value AND an awesome title. Who doesn’t want to be an Intrepid Explorer? If you wait until after 5pm (UK time) on August 6th, you’ll miss out on that title. Tickets for Intrepid Explorers are now closed.

Are you an Intrigued Adventurer?

Hey there, adventurer. Up until now, you’ve been watching from the sidelines, keeping an eye on development. You’ve been intrigued! You want a piece of the action but, well, you didn’t want to be first. Well, good new! You don’t have to be! The Intrepid Explorers have leapt in, and now the way is clear for you. Until August 13th, 5pm (UK time), only Intrigued Adventurer tickets are available. If you weren’t ready to jump in as an Intrepid Explorer and you needed more information, now’s your chance!

Ready to jump in? Intrigued adventurer step this way!

We can’t wait to see you!

We’ll be releasing more information as the event gets closer – but if you wait for more information, the price rises. So what will it be? Are you an intrepid explorer, intrigued adventurer, inspired follower, or last minute lemming?

If you’re not ready to jump in just yet, sign up for the latest Danger You updates below. This also works if you’re not in Cambridge, UK and you’d like to hear about online opportunities to get more dangerous.

Today, my good friend, neighbour and unofficial British grandma passed away. I’m not sure what my challenge is for the sake of this video…admitting that not everything is in my hands….that I can’t be everywhere at once maybe. Just being honest about me and my day, I guess. So here’s me saying goodbye to Jean. She was an incredible women who will not be forgotten. I miss you already.

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 24 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

For 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Today, my good friend, neighbour and unofficial British grandma passed away. I’m not sure what my challenge is for the sake of this video…admitting that not everything is in my hands….that I can’t be everywhere at once maybe. Just being honest about me and my day, I guess. So here’s me saying goodbye to Jean. She was an incredible women who will not be forgotten. I miss you already.

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 24 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

For 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Why Portland? Why the World Domination Summit?

DangerLou and her Nemesis – The Robot of Mediocrity

#DangerLou is in Portland because 10 months ago, I took a risk. I knew that I’d seen the awesomeness that is Chris Brogan giving the best speech he ever gave from last year’s conference on vimeo.

I know that it is the conference to get to if we want to kick conformity’s ass and meet people trying to find different ways of living and earning.

I didn’t know that I definitely had the money to go. I did know that it would be very competitive to get tickets. So, I took a risk. I waited for the day and time to apply for a ticket and made myself a deal. If I put my name in the registration page and got a ticket, then I would find a way to get there. If I didn’t, I would be sure to catch up online.

I took a risk and the Universe decided I got a ticket; now, here I am in Portland. I inspired my co-conspirator Mel to take a risk too. So here we are, ready to meet you.

So if you are also in Portland, come and find us. Today, Friday, you may even spot Danger Lou in her cape alongside her nemesis, the robot of mediocrity. And if you are wondering what this Danger Lou thing is about – “Sure, it’s fun but what’s the point?” Then check out the Danger Lou trailer here and remember these three questions and prompts that Danger Lou is keen for everyone to explore and answer:

1. Do something small that both scares and excites you every day
2. Every superhero needs sidekicks
3. Strike a pose – copied from your favourite superhero – it will help you feel like a superhero too*
4. Define your impossible – what are you stopping yourself from even starting?
5. Name your nemesis – what’s holding you back?

#DangerLou is about celebrating small risks, being playful and helping each other achieve our impossible Danger Lou is my not-so-secret identity – what’s yours?

What would happen if you answered the questions above? That’s why I’m in Portland. To help myself answer these questions while prompting you to answer them for yourself too. Meeting a whole ton of people who are revealing their superhero powers. And if you need a team of sidekicks, you can join the You Can community and we’ll do our best to keep you laughing and living and taking risks every day.

*Check out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on the value of power poses and how they can help you.

So let me know – what’s your secret identity? I’d love to hear it, in the comments below…

Inviting People In

In Part One, you found out how I ended up with a ticket to a tiny conference about making a huge dent in the Universe, Misfit Conf. I had the go ahead from my team here at You Can to raise the funds to get to the conference and bring back all that amazing learning to help our community. Now I just had to… do it!

In my Misfit application, I talked about taking the gloves off and wanting to kick ass and be Danger Lou. At this point though, I really didn’t feel very confident about it. I wrote a post; note the question mark in the Danger Lou badge I designed in the picture.

There’s a funny thing about being scared. It makes us totally withdraw – that fight or flight response can be turned inward, so that we flee from the world, and fight ourselves. So I named the fear, and invited people in.

First, I asked the You Can Hub team for help to raise the funds. As soon as I asked them to help with ideas, first of all they wanted in. They wanted to help. And they said, “It’s got to be Danger Lou.” It had to involve a costume. And so, Danger Lou went from being a concept in an application form to a real character with a costume. Then Ruth’s fruit and veg box became my nemesis, the Robot of Mediocrity and the rest, as they say, is on youtube.

You might be thinking, it’s ok for you, Lou. You have a team of people around you ready and waiting to help – they already know you! What about me? Well, in the next stage of fear, I needed to ask for help from people I hadn’t met yet.

This was the first time we’ve invited donations at The You Can Hub. I was kind of blown away with the response; very quickly we had three quarters of the money I needed. Flights and accommodation were booked. This was actually happening. Was Danger Lou scared? Of course I was! I’d never been to the States before; never travelled on my own before. It was starting to freak me out. So, I had another thought – invite people in. And I recorded it.

I posted in the conference group. And it turned out there was someone there waiting for me to ask.

There was someone else on the same flight.

I met with Deborah at Heathrow; we shared breakfast and went to the boarding gate together, then met up again in Chicago. And it turned out my challenges weren’t done because a huge thunderstorm hit Chicago just as we were due to make our connection to Fargo. Our flight was cancelled and we had to stay overnight. Putting that post in the conference group was the best decision I ever made; it meant that I had someone to stay with and share the evening with during our unscheduled overnight in Chicago. And now, I’ve made a friend for life.

Here’s my challenge for you:

• What is scaring you at the moment? What are you struggling with?
• Who can you invite in?

There are a few key pointers that help when you’re making the invite:

1. Be open and friendly
2. Be specific about what you’re inviting the person to – give details
3. Be clear about who you’re looking for
4. Be clear about who you are and why you’re asking

Let me know how you get on! In my next post, the final one in this series, I’ll be sharing how I think the conference changed me!

Excited to read the next step? Sign up for our mailing list to get a heads up when the next post is up – straight into your inbox!

You can make a donation to support our work by clicking here.

You can also listen to me talking about Danger Lou on the social media show #TSMShow with Ann Hawkins and Eric Swain – and the great thing is my friend Martyn Sibley, whose nonchalant tweet led me to finding out about conference, features on the show too! Click the link!

On Throwing Your Hat into the Ring

Three weeks ago, on 4th June, I’d just got back from Fargo, North Dakota, for Misfit Conf – a tiny conference about making a huge dent in the Universe. I wasn’t supposed to have been there. This is how it happened.

Back in April this year, I was having a tough time. A year ago, my dad died two days before my 30th birthday in May. It was coming up to the one year anniversary of my dad’s death, and my 31st birthday. I wasn’t sure how to handle it; I just knew I felt pretty grumpy and emotional all the time. People kept asking me, what do you want to do for your birthday? And I couldn’t really answer. I didn’t want to do anything. I wanted to tell everyone to get lost. I wanted to find a cave to hide out in.

My dad at my wedding in July last year, two months after his death

In the past weeks and months, I’d been playing a lot with stories. I’d gained confidence with video and storytelling. And I was browsing Twitter one day when I saw my friend @martynsibley tweeting with someone called @ajleon. I followed the Twitter trail, as you do, and before I knew it I was reading a post all about the Power of Small (which you can read here).

It resonated.

A lot.

Especially in the world of social enterprise in the UK, when it seems that one of the first questions people ask you is, “Is it scalable?” (usually right after, “How are you funded?)

One thing led to another and I ended up here. A tiny conference in Fargo. I read the small print and it said, “All applicants will get access to the recordings.” I thought, this is amazing! A whole host of knowledge in one place, knowledge we know we need at You Can Hub right now. Crowdfunding, writing, creating a business that moulds to the life you want to lead, and makes a difference in the world. And I can fill in one short form with two questions, and get access to recordings and all that stuff? Win win! I filled out the application in quite a blase playful way. You can read the application in this post.

Cut to two weeks later. I’m sitting up in bed on a Saturday morning with a cup of tea. I write a little in my journal, the briefly check my emails. Something catches my eye – an email with no subject from someone called Melissa Leon. I recognise the surname but I can’t place it. I open the message. I turn to my husband and say, “Shit!” He says, “What?!” I say, “Shit, I’ve got a place at a conference in Fargo at the end of May.” He says, “What?!” This went on for some time. At this point is seems better to hand over to Melissa herself and her email to me:

Hey Lou it is great to see you here! Thank you for submitting to attend Misfit Conf: Fargo. I wanted to reach out to you because as we were sorting through and reviewing all the applications we received so far – yours really stuck out. Wow I am just blown away by your application and the courage that you are taking to make Misfit Conf Fargo a reality. As you said it is time to take the gloves off Lou! Needless to say we would love for you to come to Fargo! To confirm your spot at Misfit Conf please purchase your ticket by the end of the day next Tuesday.

No pressure then. Two days to work out if we could make this happen and if I could go – knowing that we didn’t have any money in the pot at You Can Hub to fund the ticket or flights…

I was gobsmacked. How had this happened? I wasn’t supposed to actually get a place, merely be unsuccessful in my application and then be able to access the recordings from the relative comfort of my own sofa. My husband and I talked it through over the weekend, and then I had a meeting of the You Can Check It Out Team on Monday. I presented them with what had happened and the aims of the conference. I told them I had worked out that if I got 30 people to each donate £50, I could do it – I could get to Fargo. They told me to go for it! And I got my first donor. And so, I was taking my first steps on my way to Fargo… and it was time for the fear to kick in!

So there you go – I’d thrown my hat into the ring for an off-the-wall conference in the middle of nowhere, and the You Can Hub team was now going to hold me accountable in raising funds to get to the conference and bring back some top-notch learning. In my next post, I’ll let you know how I ended up in a field full of cows in Cambridge wearing a cape, and what I learned about asking for help.

Excited to read the next step? Sign up for our mailing list to get a heads up when the next post is up – straight into your inbox!

**Update!** You can now read Part Two: Inviting People In by clicking here.

You can still make a donation to support our work by clicking here.

You can also listen to me talking about this on the social media show #TSMShow with Ann Hawkins and Eric Swain – and the great thing is my friend Martyn Sibley, whose nonchalant tweet led me to finding out about conference, features on the show too! Click the link!

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 10 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

This is story of my big ask. 2 years ago I asked 45 of my closest friends and family to fly across the world to the tiniest of Welsh villages to not only attend my wedding but to help make it happen. The end results were pretty incredible…

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Finally, Danger Lou, thank you so much for the inspiration. This is my journey towards Danger Me

Do something that both scares and excites you. This is day 7 of my 30 day Scare The Crap Out Of Myself Video Challenge.

Today, we talk about little challenges and embracing even the smallest scary things. Last night, I took a turn punting in the dark after being challenged by #dangerlou to do so. For me, this wasn’t a big honest tructhful terrifying challenge, but it was still a little challenge. One that surprised me that it was much of a challenge at all. It was exhilarating…especially when the pole got stuck in the ground and I almost lost it! It’s too bad my evidence photo looks pitch black…

For the next 30 days I will post one video which will describe doing something that both scares and excites me, one learning point, and a take away. Join me through my ‘Hell yeah!’ moments and my ‘Oh Sh*t’ moments for the next 30 days and please do cheer me on!

Why on earth would you do this, Mel?

For Me: To bring some structure back in my life. To prove to myself that I can follow through. To document my journey at this scary time. To feel alive.

For You: Perhaps you are on a similar journey, thinking of making a change or needing to give yourself a kick in the bum to get going. I hope that following my journey will help you feel that you are not alone and inspire you to go out and do things that scare you too. Because in the end, it is by finding and doing something that makes you come alive that we truly start to make a dent in the world. Want to scare the crap out of yourself on film? Start your own challenge and let us know that you do! Share it on twitter with #stcoom (short for scarethecrapoutofmyself!)

Finally, Danger Lou, thank you so much for the inspiration. This is my journey towards Danger Me