Posts tagged vulnerability

I wrote a poem today – for the first time since I was 16. I don’t ‘do’ poetry. It feels silly. I don’t follow any ‘right’ way. I don’t think it’s worthy of others reading. That’s why I don’t do poetry – or so my head tells me. 

And yet, as I sat on my bed, with my laptop to hand, I just started writing. It wasn’t meant to be a poem. So let’s stop calling it that. It’s a story. A story of vulnerability, exhilaration, frustration. It’s a story of feeling, of the reality I’m living. Yes, ‘a story’ – that’s better. 

And with my inner critic kicking and screaming (she’s the opposite of the one who took over below, we’ll meet her another time), I am going to share this with you. Why? Because I believe in the power of vulnerability, of honesty. It has the power to bring people together, to connect. 

Why does this terrify me? Because I’m a ‘Director of The You Can Hub’. I’m supposed to be someone that ‘knows’. Someone that’s figured it out already. Someone who knows exactly what it is that makes them tick. Right?

But here’s the honest truth: I don’t know either. Well, sometimes I think I do, but more often I convince myself that I don’t. But what’s so wrong with that? We’re all human… and really, no one knows. No one knows truly, fully, everything that it is that makes them feel alive. 

So, Hi. I’m Mel, and I’m human. I’m figuring it out too. And it’s a hell of an adventure. One that I’d much prefer to do with you. So if the above or the below resonates with you, (and I hope it does… I’m pretty sure it does, at least with some of you…) then I’d love to hear your story too.  

Shhh It’s a secret 

Shh, it’s a secret.

I’m not sure what, but it is.

I can’t quite put my finger on it…

But please don’t tell.

Mini cheeky Mel

There’s something inside of me. A small child gleefully, playfully keeping it to herself.

The secret to what makes me come alive.

That thing that I have always wanted to do.

But I don’t know what it is. Sometimes, she whispers it

Or gives me a crooked grin

Sometimes I think I can maybe, just maybe, grab ahold of it, touch it, just with my pinky.

And then she pulls it away

giggling,

laughing,

loving to play hard to get.

I will catch you silly girl.

Each time that you let part of the secret slip,

I will catch it in a net!

And you?

You will let me

Because really, you want me to.

You want me to be in on it. You want me to shout it from the rooftops!

But you know that

if you say it all at once,

I won’t listen.

I’ll run for the hills.

I won’t tell anyone because, well, it’s impossible.

I can’t be truly happy. Fully content. Think how silly I would look. Think how silly that would be.

But if you share it with me, drip by drip, it will start to click.

Without even knowing it, I’ll start testing it out.

Seeing if it’s possible to live that life,

to feel alive.

And one day, I will catch you

you silly girl.

And my life will fill with laughter and glee

As you take it over

Pushing down all of those inner critics

You. will. be. triumphant!

And together,

We will shout it from the rooftops

You’ll see.

I wrote a poem today – for the first time since I was 16. I don’t ‘do’ poetry. It feels silly. I don’t follow any ‘right’ way. I don’t think it’s worthy of others reading. That’s why I don’t do poetry – or so my head tells me. 

And yet, as I sat on my bed, with my laptop to hand, I just started writing. It wasn’t meant to be a poem. So let’s stop calling it that. It’s a story. A story of vulnerability, exhilaration, frustration. It’s a story of feeling, of the reality I’m living. Yes, ‘a story’ – that’s better. 

And with my inner critic kicking and screaming (she’s the opposite of the one who took over below, we’ll meet her another time), I am going to share this with you. Why? Because I believe in the power of vulnerability, of honesty. It has the power to bring people together, to connect. 

Why does this terrify me? Because I’m a ‘Director of The You Can Hub’. I’m supposed to be someone that ‘knows’. Someone that’s figured it out already. Someone who knows exactly what it is that makes them tick. Right?

But here’s the honest truth: I don’t know either. Well, sometimes I think I do, but more often I convince myself that I don’t. But what’s so wrong with that? We’re all human… and really, no one knows. No one knows truly, fully, everything that it is that makes them feel alive. 

So, Hi. I’m Mel, and I’m human. I’m figuring it out too. And it’s a hell of an adventure. One that I’d much prefer to do with you. So if the above or the below resonates with you, (and I hope it does… I’m pretty sure it does, at least with some of you…) then I’d love to hear your story too.  

Shhh It’s a secret 

Shh, it’s a secret.

I’m not sure what, but it is.

I can’t quite put my finger on it…

But please don’t tell.

Mini cheeky Mel

There’s something inside of me. A small child gleefully, playfully keeping it to herself.

The secret to what makes me come alive.

That thing that I have always wanted to do.

But I don’t know what it is. Sometimes, she whispers it

Or gives me a crooked grin

Sometimes I think I can maybe, just maybe, grab ahold of it, touch it, just with my pinky.

And then she pulls it away

giggling,

laughing,

loving to play hard to get.

I will catch you silly girl.

Each time that you let part of the secret slip,

I will catch it in a net!

And you?

You will let me

Because really, you want me to.

You want me to be in on it. You want me to shout it from the rooftops!

But you know that

if you say it all at once,

I won’t listen.

I’ll run for the hills.

I won’t tell anyone because, well, it’s impossible.

I can’t be truly happy. Fully content. Think how silly I would look. Think how silly that would be.

But if you share it with me, drip by drip, it will start to click.

Without even knowing it, I’ll start testing it out.

Seeing if it’s possible to live that life,

to feel alive.

And one day, I will catch you

you silly girl.

And my life will fill with laughter and glee

As you take it over

Pushing down all of those inner critics

You. will. be. triumphant!

And together,

We will shout it from the rooftops

You’ll see.

It’s the New Year. Phew! We’re now a couple of weeks into this first month of 2013 and after the initial rush of Happy New Year’s, some of the Christmas sparkle has started to fade. January – one long post-Christmas hangover, but seemingly not, at least, the home of the most depressing day of the year.

New Year is the traditional time for setting resolutions. Maybe you prefer to set intentions, or goals. But I’m betting you already know what your impossible is. You know, that dream, the one that seems so intangible, so far off, and yet so inherently attractive to you, you know in your gut or your heart that you have to realise it, if you could only let yourself.

“If you could only let yourself.” Because often when we allow ourselves to think of these  dreams, when they sneak and filter their way into our conscious, what is our usual reaction? We shut them away, file them away… “that’s impossible!” “I’ll never be able to change my career / live in a treehouse / find a way to combine my passion with earning a living.” Cynicism, skepticism, the inner critic, “Reality” – whatever you want to call it, it pops up to make sure we shelve those dreams for another day.

I looked up Cynicism in the thesaurus. I found Sentimentality. I looked up Cynical in the thesaurus, and I found Naive. These words conjure up a sense of being disconnected from reality, daydreaming, not to be taken seriously. My inner critic started to have a field day. I needed to find some different words…

I moved on. I looked up Skepticism in the thesaurus. And now I found Believing, Devotion, Undoubting. And I realised that I often suspend my disbelief – whenever I watch a film. And it’s so easy! So these are words that I choose for 2013. Believing, Devotion, Undoubting. What is more real than knowing what I’m aiming for, and how I can share it and let others in, and believing in it? Let this year be a year of possibilities… and the action steps that accompany them.

If you’d like to get started setting your intentions or goals for 2013, here are some great resources:

1. Try a “Year in Review” of 2012 using this great post from Jenn Lee
2. There’s an alternative, more left-brain approach to reviewing and planning in this extensive post from The Art of Non-Conformity’s Chris Guillebeau
3. If you like to be walked and talked through the steps, try this New Year’s Ritual from Andrea Scher of Superhero Journal

If you want to invest in your dreams this year, check out Andrea Scher’s Mondo Beyondo class – it’s all about dreaming big! Maybe see you over there…

What’s your impossible for 2013? How will you give yourself permission to suspend your disbelief? And what is your first smallest step to turning your impossible into possible? Please share in the comments below!

My thank you letter to you

When was the last time you wrote a hand written letter to someone? The last time you wrote a love letter? Truly thanked someone for the role that they have played in your life? This week we present you with a challenge. In fact, one of our favourite bloggers, Scott Dinsmore over at Live Your Legend presents you with a challenge. He calls it, ‘The Gratitude Challenge’. It’s Thanksgiving over in America, and while not everyone in the world celebrates it, the idea of thanking people couldn’t fit better with You Can’s core belief that surrounding yourself with incredible, supportive people makes living life your way a heck of a lot easier.

So, are you in? 

How many hand written notes of thanks can you write in one week?

Head on over to the Live Your Legend blog, check out the TED video he recommends on hand written letters, join in their discussion, and be inspired by how many notes others are writing by looking at the comments. And do tell us what you are up to and how many notes you have challenged yourself to write this week by commenting below.

Me? I will write 5 notes this week, plus the one to all of you above.

My thank you letter to you

When was the last time you wrote a hand written letter to someone? The last time you wrote a love letter? Truly thanked someone for the role that they have played in your life? This week we present you with a challenge. In fact, one of our favourite bloggers, Scott Dinsmore over at Live Your Legend presents you with a challenge. He calls it, ‘The Gratitude Challenge’. It’s Thanksgiving over in America, and while not everyone in the world celebrates it, the idea of thanking people couldn’t fit better with You Can’s core belief that surrounding yourself with incredible, supportive people makes living life your way a heck of a lot easier.

So, are you in? 

How many hand written notes of thanks can you write in one week?

Head on over to the Live Your Legend blog, check out the TED video he recommends on hand written letters, join in their discussion, and be inspired by how many notes others are writing by looking at the comments. And do tell us what you are up to and how many notes you have challenged yourself to write this week by commenting below.

Me? I will write 5 notes this week, plus the one to all of you above.

Are you Old School Resilient…

• Maintain privacy at all times
• Don’t accept help, and certainly don’t ask for it
• Stay unemotional at all costs
• Be resolute
• Show self-restraint

My long-time partner / newly wed husband joined an album club. This seems like a pretty old-fashioned idea; you pay a subscription, and you get sent a CD every month.  It’s also a pretty neat idea – you end up listening to music that you just might not otherwise come across. One CD that came was called Europe, by the band Allo Darlin. There is a particular lyric that is resonating with me at the moment:

“These days it’s hard not to measure by what you’ve lost,

            But what you can find”

The Letter – Allo Darlin’

• Getting married to the love of my life, my childhood sweetheart, and having the most fun it is possible to have in one day with amazing contributions from family and friends
• Music, music, music – whether it’s all the amazing new music I found at Green Man (Tuneyards, King Charles, Treetop Flyers) or seeing my new husband jamming on funk bass with his new band, the Africelts
• Resilience – my Gran had an old-fashioned, grin-and-bear-it type of resilience. My resilience is a little bit different… but there are some times when you just have to keep on going, and I found this from my Gran
• Brene Brown’s work on vulnerability – the message that courage is not about not feeling vulnerable, but that vulnerability is where your courage comes from. And the title of her blog, Ordinary Courage. This year I have really found my own vulnerability, and not run away from it
• My superpower, which is exploring opportunities, asking questions to help others gain clarity in their thinking, and see a clear way through that meets with their values and belief. How cool that I can name this now, thanks to my fab colleagues from The You Can Hub. I can’t wait to get on with the important business of sharing this strength with others, with greater awareness!
  

In these times of economic uncertainty, it’s hard not to focus on the loss – loss of jobs, loss of funding, loss of services for vulnerable groups. What do you do to counter this? What have you found lately?